Search Results for "lower profit sharing"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 124

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 1997's comic on:

Tags #family freindly, #policy, #childless people, #tax, #child care, #lower profit sharing, #time off, #pick up slack, #victim

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells Alice, "This so-called 'Family Friendly' policy is like a tax on childless people." Dilbert continues, "You get child-care; I get lower profit-sharing. YOU get time off for family; I get to pick up your slack . . ." Dilbert says, "I'm a victim, but in some strange way I'm enjoying it." Alice makes a fist and rolls up her sleeve. She says, "Then you'll love this."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2013's comic on:

Tags #alcoholic beverages, #executive retreat, #executives, #lower prices, #price war, #prices, #profit margin, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new strategy is to lower our prices to increase sales. Dilbert: So our strategy is to start a price war and drive our profit margin to zero? Boss: It made sense at the executive retreat. Alice: Was alcohol involved?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2011's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #taxes, #sociopth, #victimless crime, #insider information, #hedge fund, #split profit, #tax people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: The great thing about being a sociopath is that everything feels like a victimless crime. If you give me some insider information for my hedge fund, I'll split the profit with you. Think of it as a tax on people you don't know. CEO: That's the best kind!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2011's comic on:

Tags #employees, #executives, #busy converting, #lower morle, #stirring up trouble, #departments, #undercommunicating, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: He's busy converting everything you did this year into a complete waste of time. After that, he's scheduled to lower our morale. Then he'll be stirring up trouble in other departments. Dilbert: How's tomorrow look? Carol: He'll be under-communicating all day.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Wally, #Dilbert, #floyd, #success, #sharing, #contributing, #big hickey

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Dilbert, "I see it's your turn to work with Floyd." Dilbert replies, "Yeah." Wally says, "He lived on my back for a year, sharing my successes without contributing." Wally says, "I had him lanced." Wally asks, "Does it leave a big hickey?"

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 1991's comic on:

Tags #exercise, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #joined, #bowling, #league, #yikes, #lower middle class, #muscle, #little arm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home carrying a bowling ball in a case. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I joined a bowling league." Dogbert's ears fly up in surprise and he says, "Yikes! We've become lower middle-class!" Dilbert says, "Don't be ridiculous. Bowling is good exercise. I'm doing it to build muscle tone." At the bowling alley, Dilbert sees three men who have one huge arm and one little arm. One of the men says, "Hey! 'Little Arm.'"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #jail, #Dilbert, #rich, #famous, #house, #dog, #profit, #permission, #happy hour

View Transcript

Transcript

A man wearing a robe and holding a wine glass asks Dilbert, "What are you in for?" Dilbert says angrily, "I live here!" Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "This is my house! My dog turned it into a jail-for-profit without my permission!" The man walks away saying, "Man, you're the wrong guy to talk to during 'happy hour.'"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #class, #career, #engineering, #careers, #cubicle, #restroom, #lower, #electromagnetic fields, #office, #equipment, #killing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a classroom of young students, "Engineering is one of the best careers available." Dilbert continues, "For the next twenty years I'll sit in a big box called a cubicle. It's like a restroom stall but with lower walls." Dilbert continues, "I spend most of my time hoping the electromagnetic fields from my office equipment aren't killing me." The children look horrified.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 1994's comic on:

Tags #baby dogbert, #ceramic figurine, #first aid, #vomiting, #focus group, #disater, #inmate cuteness, #profit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I found a way to profit from my innate cuteness. Introducing the limited edition "Baby Dogbert" ceramic figurine! Dilbert: I see - its a first aid device to induce vomiting. Dogbert: The focus group was a disaster.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 1995's comic on:

Tags #paper burning stove, #lower heating bills, #useless documents, #love your work, #warm feeling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert installs a stove while Dogbert watches. Dilbert says, "I'm installing a paper-burning stove to lower our heating bills." Dilbert says, "I'll fuel it with all the useless documents I get at work." At the office, the Boss sees Dilbert carrying a stack of papers and asks, "I've been noticing how much stuff you take home. You must love your work." Dilbert replies, "It gives me a warm feeling."