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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2003's comic on:


Tags #career counseling, #mad about downsized, #involves punching, #kicking, #resume, #alice, #seeking job

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Career Counseling. Dogbert: "Apparently you're still mad about being downsized." "According to your resume, you're seeking a job that involves 'punching a short, stocky guy with pointy hair.'" "Is that the only job you'd consider?" Alice: "I also like kicking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #clyde, #canyon, #hiking, #exploring, #flight, #arrangements, #carry-on, #luggage, #overhead, #compartment

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit on an airplane. Dilbert says, "We can spend the first day at Clyde Canyon hiking and exploring . . ." Dogbert growls. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Are you still mad about the flight arrangements?" Dogbert looks angry. The flight attendant says to Dilbert, "Sir, you'll have to store your carry-on luggage in the overhead compartment." Dogbert growls.

Dilbert Starts The Cover Up

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Dilbert Starts The Cover Up  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2018's comic on:


Tags #conspiracy, #aspersions, #suspicion, #blame, #proof, #guilt, #innocence

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Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen. Alice: I think Dilbert is trying to ruin my career. Carol said he was mad about something I said, and hew as in the server room right before I lost my files. This morning he said he "had work to do." Boss: OMG. He already started the cover-up. Narrator: Continued...

How Conspiracy Theories Start

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How Conspiracy Theories Start  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #conspiracy, #aspersions, #guilt, #innocence, #blame

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Narrator: How conspiracy theories start. Alice: I can't find my spreadsheet files. Asok: I saw Dilbert going into the server room. Alice: That doesn't mean any... Asok: Carol said he was mad about something you said. Narrator: Continued...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #date, #frog, #witch, #turned, #me, #into, #hopping, #mad, #love, #dating

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Dogbert asks Dilbert, "You're back early. How was your date?" Dilbert, who has been turned into a frog, replies, "Not so good . . . She's a witch . . . Turned me into a frog." Dilbert says, "Oooh! When I think about it I just get so . . . So . . ." Dogbert asks, "Hopping mad?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 1997's comic on:


Tags #downsized, #dinosaurs, #spike things, #safety hazrd, #ate ficus tree, #being professional

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Dogbert says to Dawn, Bob and Rex, "There's not enough room for all of you dinosaurs. One of you must be downsized." Bob says, "If it helps, these spikey things are a safety hazard. And little Rex ate your ficus tree." Dogbert says, "Thanks for being professional about this, Bob." Bob holds up Little Rex and says, "When you put him in good light, how cute is he really?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2003's comic on:


Tags #business card orders, #downsized, #3 per week, #possibility of leaving, #rates, #fees, #calculations

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Dilbert approaches Carol and asks, "How many business cards should I order?" Carol responds, "It depends." Carol continues, "I use a complex formula based on your burn rate and your likelihood of getting downsized." Dilbert says, "I use about three per week." Carol replies, "You'll need three cards."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2003's comic on:


Tags #alice, #rich guy, #care about personality, #hugged too tight

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Alice gets downsized. Wally: "Maybe your next career could be marrying a rich guy." "There must be a guy out there who wouldn't care about your personality." "If she offers you a goodbye hug, don't take it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2003's comic on:


Tags #alice, #downsized, #now ork, #no shave legs, #arrested, #ice cream, #sasquatch, #tv news report

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Alice: "The good thing about being downsized is that I don't need to shave my legs." "It grows fast, but who's going to notice?" TV REPORTER: "Police surrounded a convenience store where Sasquatch attempted to buy 'Haagen Dazs.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #himan resources, #downsized, #free dvd, #live off land, #shoplifting, #running fast

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Don't worry about being downsized after the reorganization." "Downsized employees will get my free DVD that teaches you how to live off the land." "The key to successful shoplifting is running very fast."