Make Every Day Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Make Every Day
View 1 - 10 results for make every day comic strips. Discover the best "Make Every Day" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday February 21,
1998
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr diretor, #personal lives, #strict dress code, #homes, #one less decision, #make every day
Transcript
At the staff meeting, Catbert says to Dilbert and Wally, "your personal lives reflect on this company." Catbert continues, "From now on, a strict dress code will be enforced in your homes." At home Dilbert says to Dogbert, "On the plus side, it's one less decision I have to make every day." He's wearing a coon skin cap, suspenders, a tu-tu and knee-high boots.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday July 23,
2011
Tags #competition (psychology), #stop level meeting, #confidentail, #retribution, #every day retribution
Transcript
Boss: Your annual skip-level meeting with my boss is next week. Everything you say about me is confidential. But just to be on the safe side, I scheduled my retribution for every day of the following year.
Wednesday January 07,
2015
Tube Clothing Or Rug
Tags #clothes, #clothing, #insult, #nerd, #nerds, #style, #tube clothes, #invented style, #reduce decisions, #carpet, #wrapped
Transcript
Dilbert: Tube clothes! I invented that style! Did it reduce the number of decisions you need to make every day? Man: I'm just a guy wrapped in a carpet. Dilbert: Oh, I thought you were like me. Man: I don't have to take these insults.
Sunday February 12,
2012
Tags #frustration, #tech support, #ticket window, #evaluated, #how helpful, #trouble tickets, #stubborness, #obsticle, #financial success, #disconnected, #new stranger, #hating
Transcript
Tech Support: Hello, this is tech support. May I close your ticket now? Dilbert: Um... no. You haven't helped me yet. I just called you. Tech Support: I'm not evaluated on how helpful I am. I'm evaluated on how many trouble tickets I close. Your stubbornness is becoming an obstacle to my financial success. By the way, if our call gets disconnected, I count that as a closed ticket. Dilbert: I'll make it quick. Tech Support: What? What? I can't hear you. Dilbert: Son of a beach ball! On the plus side, my goal of hating one new stranger every day is right on track.
Tuesday November 16,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #zap, #building, #anti-social
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. As Dilbert assembles a device, Dogbert says, "I was wondering if you could build a phaser pistol so I can zap the many fools I encounter every day." Dogbert continues, "Nothing lethal, just enough to make them twitch wildly and scream. It would be fun." Dilbert says, "That wouldn't be very nice to the fools." Dogbert replies, "I just think you guys should provide more value to society."
Tuesday September 14,
1999
Tags #too underfunded, #succeed, #slow day, #slide toward failure, #moms unconditional love, #hold me to that
Transcript
Dilbert and Dilmom are in the kitchen. Dilmom cuts carrots. Dilbert says, "I'm working on a project that is too under-funded to succeed." Dilbert says, "Every day is a slow but inevitable slide toward failure and humilation." Dilbert says, "At least I'll always have my mom's unconditional love." Dilmom says, "Are you going to hold me to that?"
Wednesday February 14,
2007
Tags #25 each, #cheap hot dogs, #cover charge, #employee appreciation day, #evil director, #harder to appreciate, #pocket money
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: Employee Appreciation Day is next Tuesday. The cover charge is $25 apiece. wally: How do we know you won't buy cheap hot dogs and pocket the rest of our money? Catbert: Every day it gets harder to appreciate you." gulp gulp gulp
Sunday February 17,
2013
Tags #irony, #managers & supervisors, #interface, #finished, #started, #micromanagement, #bad reputation, #optimistic, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't wait to see the changes I asked you to make on the interface. Our last meeting was two months ago. You must be finished by now. Coworker: I haven't started yet. I had a few questions. I figured I'd ask you about them the next time we talked. In the meantime I only did work for people who yelled at me every day. Micromanagement has a bad reputation, but I'm not too proud to say I need it. Dilbert: Okay... well, I'm optimistic that you can make those changes for me by next week. Coworker: I probably should have asked my questions.
Sunday February 23,
2003
Tags #strategy meetng, #value input, #administrative assistant, #global domination, #engineers, #gocce filters, #popcorn bags, #pantyhouse, #foot on pantyhose, #coffeee filter
Transcript
The Boss approaches Carol and says, "Carol, come to my strategy meeting." The Boss continues, "You're only a secretary, but I value your input." Carol exclaims, "I'm an administrative assistant!!!" As they're walking to the meeting, Carol thinks, "Chimp." The Boss thinks, "Bad secretary." The Boss addresses the meeting, "Does anyone have any strategic ideas for global domination?" Carol responds, "The engineers keep using our coffee filters as popcorn bags. That has to stop." Alice stands and yells, "If you ordered enough filters, I would need to use the foot of my pantyhose to make coffee every day!" As they're walking out of the meeting, Wally says to Dilbert, "I'm adding that to the list of things I don't want to think about."
Sunday August 11,
2002
Tags #technically impossible, #costs less, #much cheaper, #plan one or two, #engineers
Transcript
Dilbert says to The Boss, "Both plans are technically impossible." The Boss responds, "Which one costs less?" Dilbert says, "Um... I don't see how that matters, but plan one is cheaper." The Boss reports to his manager, "Plan one is the best." The manager responds, "I'll take it to our V.P." The manager is meeting with an associate. The associate says, "I like plan two." The manager replies, "Great minds think alike!" The associate approaches the V.P. The V.P. says, "Excellent. Ask one of our engineers to present plan two to the board." The Boss approaches Dilbert and says, "Guess what." Dilbert says to Wally, "Every day I make the world a little bit worse." Wally responds, "What's it like to make a difference?"