Making Faces Comic Strips
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co-worker: i can't support this project because you're all a bunch of corrupt, godless communists. dilbert: just out of curiosity, where did you get your education? co-worker: i learned everything i need to know on social media. dilbert: how does that help you evaluate a technical proposal? co-worker: it's simple. i take one look at all of your faces, and i know everything i need to know. co-worker looking at wally: i mean, look at this guy's face. he's obviously a grifter. wally: lucky guess. co-worker looking at alice: this one obviously has anger issues. dilbert: i demand a larger sample size! co-worker: whatever geek face.
Carol says, "Elbonian leftists kidnapped Asok. They have ransom demands." Carol says, "They want a three-pack of tube socks, a carton of milk, and six yams." The Boss says, "Maybe you could buy that stuff on your way home." Carol says, "You're making my life a nightmare! Just keep him!"
Dilbert, Dogbert and an old woman sit on a park bench. The old woman says, "Men don't whistle at me anymore." The woman continues, "I credit the women's movement for making men more sensitive to how whistling degrades women." As Dilbert gets up to leave, Dogbert asks the woman, "What's the climate like on your planet?"
An Elbonian asks Dilbert, "How do we know you came to Elbonia just to teach us capitalism?" Another man says, "Yeah . . . Maybe you came to steal our secret process for making mud!!" Dilbert asks, "Dirt and water?" As Dilbert stands in the distance, an Elbonian says, "He knows . . ." The pig says, "We'll have to kill him."
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "You've got to step down as King of Elbonia. These people are capable of making their own decisions." An Elbonian says, "The Paper-Rock-Scissors Olympics are canceled. We couldn't agree on the rules." The Elbonian continues, "And of course, we all wear mittens . . ." Dogbert asks Dilbert, "What was your point?"
Dilbert, Wally, Alice, the Boss and Ted sit at a conference table. Ted says, "If there are no objections, I'd like to make funny faces and tell a long rambling story." Ted continues, ". . . So, then I said 'You want the MONTHLY report, not the DAILY report.' . . . But that got me thinking . . . So . . ." Ted says, "Blah blah blah" and waves his arms. The Boss thinks, "I can top that."
Dogbert says to Noriko, "Take Bob with you, Noriko. You'll need help saving the planet for your generation." Noriko and Bob the Dinosaur walk down the sidewalk. Noriko says, "I have a black belt in karate. What skills do you bring to the party?" Bob replies, "Wedgies, mostly." Bob picks a man up by his underwear and explains, "It's not as menacing as karate, but you have to love the expressions on their faces." Noriko says, "Turn him this way."
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm starting an interdisciplinary task force to study our decision-making process." Dilbert responds, "So, you're using a bad decision-making process to decide how to fix our bad decision-making process?" The Boss says, "I don't know how else we could find the source of our problem." Dilbert says, "X-ray your skull?"