Man Of Ideas Comic Strips
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Wally: My contributions can't be measured by the number of hours I work. I'm a man of ideas. One great idea is worth more than all of you put together. Boss: Fine. Let's hear your great idea. Wally: You just did.
Man: At Google, we're encouraged to spend 20% of our time developing our own ideas. Dilbert: How many hours per week do you work? Man: About sixty. Wally: It sounds better when you don't do the math.
Dilbert opens his door and the garbage man stands on the doorstep. The garbage man holds up a crumpled piece of paper and says, "Pardon me, sir, but I couldn't help noticing these equations in your garbage." The garbage man continues, "I took the liberty of correcting a few quantum calculations." Dilbert asks, "Gosh, why are you a garbage man?" The garbage man replies, "I think the question is 'why are YOU an engineer?'"
Dogbert says to the garbage man, "I understand you're the world's smartest garbage man." Dogbert continues, "I'm Dogbert, the world's smartest dog; according to me, anyway." Dogbert continues, "I just wondered why you choose to be a garbage man." The garbage man says, "I think it was the glamour which first intrigued me."
The garbage man asks Dogbert, "Not much garbage . . . Did somebody die?" Dogbert replies, "Dilbert went to the compost pile in the sky." The garbage man reads a piece of paper and says, "Bad timing . . . Judging from last week's garbage, he had almost finished his cloning machine design. I only notice a few linear math errors." The garbage man continues, "This design would just create a hologram and a bad chile con carne recipe." Dogbert says, "Man, you sure know your garbage!"
Dogbert asks the garbage man, "Mister Garbage Man, do you know why Dilbert's neckties curl up?" The garbage man answers, "It could be a Tanzanian necktie snake in one of its clever disguises." The garbage man grasps his throat and continues, "They'll stalk you for years, then suddenly - ACK!!" Dogbert looks shocked.
Dogbert sits on a trashcan and says to the garbage man, "Maybe I'll never solve the mystery of why Dilbert's neckties curl up." The garbage man says, "Sometimes, Dogbert, life presents us with mysteries to fuel our sense of wonder . . . It stimulates us to reach beyond ourselves to something greater." Dogbert asks, "This isn't one of those times, is it?" The garbage man says, "Apparently not."
The caption says, "Dogbert starts a tabloid newspaper devoted to lies about himself." Dogbert stands on a desk chair and types. Dilbert asks, "Where do you get your ideas?" Dogbert types, "Dogbert's impatience with fools was legendary. He once choked a man by his necktie for asking stupid questions." Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder as Dogbert types, "It happened one day when the fool was reading over Dogbert's shoulder and got too close."
Dogbert stands in front of the judge's bench and says, "I call my garbage man to the stand, because he knows everything." The garbage man sits in the witness stand and says, "According to the Iowa Corn Treaty of 1837, it is LEGAL to kill a man with an ear of corn under two conditions . . ." The garbage man continues, "One: if the victim is a witch or two: if he owns a poodle." Dogbert says, "For my next witness, I call 'Fifi.'"
Dilbert, Dogbert and several Elbonians sit at a conference table. Dogbert is wearing a miter. An Elbonian says, "Your Highness, the Elbonian people demand free speech." The man continues, "But don't worry, we'll still have societal and market pressures to squelch any original ideas." The man continues, "Frankly, all we want to do is make fun of your little hat."