Manage Spreadsheet Comic Strips
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View 1 - 10 results for manage spreadsheet comic strips. Discover the best "Manage Spreadsheet" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share August 07, 2007's comic on:
The Boss: I've decided to manage by spreadsheet. "I'll track things until all of our problems fix themselves." CatBert: "Your optimism is cute." The Boss: "Thanks. You're pretty fuzzy yourself."
Share January 06, 2016's comic on:
Share January 07, 2016's comic on:
Alice: What are the odds that you made this complicated spreadsheet without any critical errors? Boss: Does it matter, as long as it gives me the answer I want? Alice: It should. Boss: But ask yourself if it does.
Share April 02, 2011's comic on:
Woman says, "This isn't what I wanted." Dilbert says, "I know." Dilbert says, "Your communication skill are so poor that I gave up trying to understand what you wanted and instead put some random numbers on a spreadsheet." Woman says, "Why didn't you just ask me to clarify?!" Dilbert says, "Apparently your listening skills need work too."
Share September 07, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert stands at a desk in front of a computer and video camera. Dilbert says, "It's called multimedia, Dogbert. Now I can include video and music with my computer programs." Dilbert continues, "This morning I added my face plus the theme song from 'Star Wars' to my budget spreadsheet." Dilbert continues, "I already forgot how I survived without it." Dogbert replies, "It can get pretty ugly when science and art collide."
Share February 17, 1993's comic on:
An employee says to the Boss, "I found a typo in the budget spreadsheet . . . It's too late to fix it." The man continues, "We transferred one job to another group but accidentally kept the money and headcount." The Boss tells another man, ". . . So, we still pay you but you aren't allowed to do work." The man thinks, "This is the happiest day of my life."
Share December 30, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a desk chair. Dogbert tells Dilbert, "I can't decide if it would be better to conquer the world by building an army or starting a religion." Dilbert asks, "Which one would have the least loss of life?" Dogbert replies, "That's what I'm trying to calculate on this spreadsheet." Dilbert asks, "Why are you counting law students as two-tenths of a person?" Dogbert replies, "It doesn't drop to zero until they pass the bar."
Share November 04, 1994's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I've decided to manage by physical intimidation. If somebody says something stupid I'll just smack them." Dilbert says, "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." The Boss hits himself in the head. Dilbert thinks, "On the other hand, maybe I should give it a chance."
Share March 24, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his cubicle. He asks Dogbert, "How could the Elbonians afford to buy this company? Their whole country is just mud." Dogbert imagines a television screen showing an Elbonian holding a container with the figure "$119.95" above him. Dogbert answers, "They packaged the mud and sold it as a cosmetic on the 'Couch Shopping Network.' They made trillions." Hugging his knees to his chest, Dilbert comments, "At least they know how to manage resources." Dogbert replies, "They sold their entire country in little jars. Most Elbonians perished in molten lava at the Earth's core."
Share March 30, 1995's comic on:
Liz sits at her computer and Dilbert looks over her shoulder. Liz says, "I built a spreadsheet to compare our relative qualities. I'm afraid I'm twenty percent too good for you. We must stop dating." Dilbert points at the screen and says, "NO! Look, Liz, you have the wrong formula in this column! That must mean I have higher math skills than you! We're almost even!" After Dilbert leaves, Liz sits at her computer and Dogbert sits on her printer. Dogbert says to Liz, "You left that error in there intentionally." Liz answers, "My last batch of flowers is wilting."