Management In Person Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for management in person comic strips. Discover the best "Management In Person" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #huge liars, #management in person, #dogbert investments

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Dogbert investments: Dogbert and Alice are in a meeting. Dogbert says: "Before I invest in a stock, I talk to the management in person." Alice says: "What good is that? They're all huge liars." Dogbert says: "You believe I really talk to them, right?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decions, #dark demon, #ineffective management, #help deciosn, #requested smitting

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"Uh-oh, someone wants me to make a decision." "I summon the dark demon of ineffective management to smite the person who wants this decision!!!" "Maybe I could help you make the decision." "I requested smiting."

Management Fast Track

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Management Fast Track - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talent, #management, #potential, #frustration

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Boss: Dilbert, our CEO asked me to put you on the management fast track. Dilbert: Why does he hate me so much? Boss: He didn't say, but I have a lot of guesses if you want to hear them.

Groomed For Management

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Groomed For Management - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #back-stabbing, #management, #betrayal, #double cross

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Dilbert: My boss is trying to groom me for management. How can I get out of it? Wally: Tell him that as soon as you are sufficiently groomed you will stab him in the back and take his job. Dilbert: ...and then I'll take your job. Boss: I'm moving you to the advanced management class.

Dogbert's Time Management Book

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Dogbert's Time Management Book - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #time, #management, #time management, #blank

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Dogbert: Would you like to read my book on time management? Dilbert: Yes. These pages are blank. Dogbert: I just saved you three hours.

Wise Person Said

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Wise Person Said - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #wise, #person, #boil, #stick, #egg, #Advice, #proverb, #threat, #overrate

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asok: a wise person once said you can't boil an egg with a stick. wally: no, but i can threaten you with a stick unless you boil an egg for me. asok: why didn't the wise person think of that? wally: he sounds overrated

Management Got Virus

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Management Got Virus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #health, #management, #coronavirus, #quarantined, #work, #wisdom, #idiot, #theme, #face mask, #sarcasm

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catbert: the entire management team has contracted coronavirus and is quarantined. they asked me to tell you to stop working, because without their wisdom, you idiots will ruin everything. any questions? dilbert: no, i think you covered the main themes.

Betting On Management

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Betting On Management - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #covid-19, #business, #technology, #confidence, #management, #infection, #coronavirus, #bet, #stupidity, #income, #betting, #health

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dilbert: does it reduce your confidence in our management that 100% of them got infected with coronavirus. wally: all i know is that i won $300 betting it would happen. dilbert: how often do you bet on their stupidity? wally: often enough to double my income.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #managers & supervisors, #learn from mistakes, #make alits, #wrong this year, #coincidence, #perfromance reviews, #management legends, #business

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The Boss says, "We can learn from our mistakes. Let's make a list of the things that each of you did wrong this year." Dilbert says, "It is just a coincidence that our annual performance reviews are due next week?" The Boss says, "It would have been the stuff of management legends." Catbert says, "Very nice try."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appeal, #bad person, #business ethics, #comparison shopping, #guilt, #molt, #prevents competitors, #raising prices

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Dilbert: Our products only appeal to people who aren't good at comparison shopping. But I justify it because our existence prevents competitors from raising prices. Am I a bad person? Dogbert: I molt a little bit every time you talk.