Management Techniques Comic Strips
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347 Results for Management Techniques
View 1 - 10 results for management techniques comic strips. Discover the best "Management Techniques" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday April 10,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #elbonia, #capitalism, #computer, #chips, #industrial, #giant, #management, #techniques
Transcript
Dilbert arrives at home and tells Dogbert, "My trip to Elbonia was a complete success." Dilbert continues, "I opened our subsidiary, taught capitalism to the locals and showed them how to make computer chips out of sand." Dogbert replies, "Oh great . . . Now they will become an industrial giant and compete against us." Dilbert says, "Don't worry. I also taught them our management techniques."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday January 05,
1993
Tags #the boss, #wimpy, #management, #techniques, #empowerment, #quality, #memo, #shock, #subjective, #electric
Transcript
The Boss thinks, "I've had enough of those wimpy management techniques like 'empowerment' and 'quality.'" The Boss stands behind an employee who is wearing a headband with a receiver on it. The Boss says, "Write a BETTER memo or I'll send a strong shock to your head." The Boss presses a button on his belt and the man receives a shock. The Boss looks at the reader and says, "The best part is that it's all subjective."
Saturday May 17,
2003
Tags #management techniques, #existence of books, #which one, #read, #making mad, #trick
Transcript
Dilbert raises his hand in a meeting and asks, "Question: How do you know which management technique works best?" Dilbert continues, "Logically, doesn't the existence of thousands of management books show that no one knows what works best?" The Boss responds, "The trick is knowing which one to read." Dilbert responds, "Now you're just making me mad."
Sunday April 03,
1994
Tags #bun, #eat a bug, #evalution, #motivation, #performance evaluation
Transcript
The Boss: Your performance this year was 'fair'. But I'll raise your appraisal to "excellent" if you'll eat a bug. Wally: Say what? The Boss: eat a bug. The Boss: I didn't have much luck with the other management techniques so Im kinda winging it now. Wally:Do i get to pick the bug? The boss: Its way more motivational if I pick the bug. Dilbert: How did your evaluation go? Wally: MXLT Next! Dilbert: Do I get a bun? The boss: You guys are never happy.
Friday February 17,
2017
Management Fast Track
Tags #talent, #management, #potential, #frustration
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, our CEO asked me to put you on the management fast track. Dilbert: Why does he hate me so much? Boss: He didn't say, but I have a lot of guesses if you want to hear them.
Saturday February 18,
2017
Groomed For Management
Tags #back-stabbing, #management, #betrayal, #double cross
Transcript
Dilbert: My boss is trying to groom me for management. How can I get out of it? Wally: Tell him that as soon as you are sufficiently groomed you will stab him in the back and take his job. Dilbert: ...and then I'll take your job. Boss: I'm moving you to the advanced management class.
Wednesday August 29,
2018
Dogbert's Time Management Book
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #time, #management, #time management, #blank
Transcript
Dogbert: Would you like to read my book on time management? Dilbert: Yes. These pages are blank. Dogbert: I just saved you three hours.
Tuesday September 08,
2020
Management Got Virus
Tags #business, #health, #management, #coronavirus, #quarantined, #work, #wisdom, #idiot, #theme, #face mask, #sarcasm
Transcript
catbert: the entire management team has contracted coronavirus and is quarantined. they asked me to tell you to stop working, because without their wisdom, you idiots will ruin everything. any questions? dilbert: no, i think you covered the main themes.
Friday September 11,
2020
Betting On Management
Tags #covid-19, #business, #technology, #confidence, #management, #infection, #coronavirus, #bet, #stupidity, #income, #betting, #health
Transcript
dilbert: does it reduce your confidence in our management that 100% of them got infected with coronavirus. wally: all i know is that i won $300 betting it would happen. dilbert: how often do you bet on their stupidity? wally: often enough to double my income.
Tuesday December 01,
2020
Ai For Management Decisoins
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #smart speaker, #artificial intelligence, #management, #bug
Transcript
Dilbert: i upgraded our a.i. prototype to make management decisions. smart speaker: slay the weak dilbert: i think that's a bug. boss: hold on. let's hear it out.