Management Training Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

483 Results for Management Training

View 1 - 10 results for management training comic strips. Discover the best "Management Training" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #huge, #management training, #stupid mistake, #class, #school, #learn from it, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert says to Alice and the rest of the Management Training class, "What would you do if you made a huge, incredibly stupid mistake?" A man sitting next to Alice in the class raises his hand and says, "I would try to learn from it." Dogbert asks, "Did you learn anything from your answer?"

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #always right, #arrogance, #management training, #punished, #two rules, #customer

View Transcript

Transcript

MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert says, "There are two essential rules of management." The Management Training class, with Alice sitting in the front row, listens as Dogbert continues, "One: The customer is always right." Dogbert continues, "Two: They must be punished for their arrogance!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #unlock skull, #management training, #twist ears, #moral compass, #deactivate, #leadership, #working weekends, #adjustng, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert stands on a stool behind a man sitting in a chair. Dogbert says, "You twist the ears to unlock the skull." The man's skull is open as if a hinge were on the side of his head. Dogbert reaches inside the skull and says, "Find the moral compass and deactivate it." Dogbert replaces the man's skull and says, "The result is something called leadership." The man points in front of him and says, "You're working weekends!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #class, #cloak of invisibility, #consultant, #invisibility, #management cloak, #management training, #special, #students, #teacher, #education, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert addresses the class, saying, "Tim will demonstrate the Management Cloak of Invisibility." Dogbert points to Tim who is sitting at a desk in front of the Management Training class. Dogbert watches as Tim sinks below the desk. Dogbert says to the class as Tim disappears from view, "I admit it doesn't seem very special when you know how it's done."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #training facility, #training, #secret location, #blinfolded, #drivers

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss ties a blindfold over Alice's eyes and says, "No one knows the secret location of the Management Training Facility." The Boss leads the blindfolded Alice as Alice says, "If no one knows where it is, how do we get there?" Alice is sitting blindfolded in a car. The Boss is sitting in the driver's seat, also blindfolded. The Boss says, "This part can get loud."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quality training, #promoted, #management, #lobotomy, #footsteps

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "The only way to get ahead in this company is by getting promoted to management." "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get promoted. I want to follow in your footsteps." "But I'm wondering if a lobotomy is actually necessary." "No, we'll just run you through 'quality training'."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #turnaround ceo, #value based, #management, #perspective, #training dept, #exceeds cost

View Transcript

Transcript

A voice is asking the new CEO, who looks like the devil, "...From a value-based management perspective it's clear..." The voice is Tim who continues, "...That the training department's return exceeds the cost of capital... So please don't kill me." As Tim, barely in the panel is clearly off his feet, being tossed around, the boss says to Dilbert, "Okay, you're next... and begging doesn't work."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #guest cartoonist, #nildo orbfutz, #consulting, #welocme, #breakroom, #on the job training

View Transcript

Transcript

"Who's today's guest cartoonist?" "At great expense, I've just hired Nildo Orbfutz as a consultant. He will increase our productivity hereby calculating how much time is actually wasted!" "Well, Nildo. How did you acquire your credentials? Degree in business management? HR? PR? Psychology?" "On-the-job training." "Let me guess: you've been fired from every job you ever had... for wasting time?" "Welcome to the wonderfuk world of consulting." "Answer: go to Dilbert.com."

Management Fast Track

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Management Fast Track - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talent, #management, #potential, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, our CEO asked me to put you on the management fast track. Dilbert: Why does he hate me so much? Boss: He didn't say, but I have a lot of guesses if you want to hear them.

Groomed For Management

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Groomed For Management - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #back-stabbing, #management, #betrayal, #double cross

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My boss is trying to groom me for management. How can I get out of it? Wally: Tell him that as soon as you are sufficiently groomed you will stab him in the back and take his job. Dilbert: ...and then I'll take your job. Boss: I'm moving you to the advanced management class.