Managing Comic Strips
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Character
61 Results for Managing
View 1 - 10 results for managing comic strips. Discover the best "Managing" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 08,
2011
Tags critics, employees, laziness, big picture guy, lesser minds, managing, implementing, not getting it, business
Transcript
Wally: I've decided to become more of a big picture guy. Lesser minds can do the managing and implementing while I criticize them for not :getting it". Dilbert: So...you want to get paid to be a jerk? Wally: said the implementer.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday October 06,
1994
Tags managing, marketing group, previous manager killed, parking lot, run down, murder, apathy to murder, body on bumper
Transcript
The Boss: "In addition to my current duties, I'll be managing the marketing group." "The marketing job opened because the previous manager got run down in the parking lot." "When they needed a good manager, they knew where to look." Dilbert: "Under your bumper?"
Saturday January 08,
2000
Tags managing instanct, belly button lint, leave employee, unhygenic, weird, intimate, gone too far
Transcript
The boss is sticking his hands in his shirt and thinks: "I've got a good crop of lint in my belly button today." The boss thinks: "I'll leave it on Dilbert's keyboard." The boss thinks: "I wonder if there's such a thing as managing too much by instict."
Tuesday July 10,
2001
Tags managing by exception, do good job, project important, name
Transcript
The Boss comes into Wally's cubicle and says, "From now on I'll be managing by exception." The Boss continues, "If I don't talk to you for months, assume you're doing a good job." The Boss continues talking, saying "...Or that you're project isn't important...Or that I don't remember your name."
Monday September 10,
2001
Tags bad data, data, grossly inaccurate, managing is hard
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "All of our data is grossly inaccurate... but I need data in order to manage." The Boss continues, "If I concentrate hard enough I can forget that the data is bad. Then I can use it." Wally and Dilbert watch as The Boss shakes with clenched teeth. Wally says, "I have to give him credit.; managing is harder than it looks."
Sunday August 12,
2012
Tags work ethic, great managing, engaged, disengaged, praise and recognition, encourage developement, important job, opinions count, prodcutivity, drop dead, learn and grow
Transcript
Wally: Here's a list of the twelve elements of great managing. If you do everything on that list, it will make me feel what experts call "engaged." If you fail to do your job properly, I will feel all disengaged and do poor work. This would be a convenient time to give me some praise and recognition. You might also want to encourage my development and tell me my job is important. Remember to care about me as a person and tell me my opinions count. If you do all of that, plus seven more things on the list, you might get some productivity out of me. Boss: Leave my office and drop dead. Wally: Will that help me learn and grow?
Friday November 19,
2004
Tags managing vague directions, punishing people, genius
Transcript
The Boss: There must be more to managing than giving vague directions and punishing people for not reading my mind. But I like to play within my game. Its a form of genius. Catbert: wake me up when some of this is about me.
Sunday April 25,
1999
Tags managing by analogies, dogbert presents, distribution problem, eskimos, gather ice, lean summer months, eat penguins, hibachi, ban for life
Transcript
Title reads: "Dogbert Presents." Dogbert stands in front a sign, reading "Managing by Analogies." He says, "It's easy!" The Boss and Dilbert at a table. The Boss says, "We'll solve our distribution problem the eskimo way." Dilbert responds, "Huh?" The Boss continues, "The eskimos gather ice all winter long." Then, "Later, during the lean summer months, the eskimos eat the ice they stored." The Boss adds, "We'll do the same thing." Dilbert explains, "But... the eskimos would starve if they only ate ice." The Boss says, "Maybe they eat penguins too. They're delicious." The Boss stands and adds, "Did you know the zoo can ban you for life if they catch you using a hibachi?"
Thursday June 07,
2007
Tags managing, easier, awards for best places, work, handle situation, losers
Transcript
The Boss: Managing is a lot easier now that we've given up on winning one of those 'Best Places to Work' awards. Dilbert: "Do you have a minute?" The Boss: "Not for losers." "There was a time when I wouldn't have known how to handle that situation."
Saturday January 19,
2013
Tags cruelty, exhaustion / tiredness, workload, emailed assignments, extreme managing, killing employees
Transcript
Alice: We need to talk about my workload. Boss: Okay. I just emailed you two more assignments that I need finished by tomorrow. Alice: You are literally killing me. Boss: I call it extreme managing.