Managing Expectations Comic Strips
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104 Results for Managing Expectations
View 1 - 10 results for managing expectations comic strips. Discover the best "Managing Expectations" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday April 08,
2008
Tags #bad raise, #boss, #fired, #managing expectations, #heartless
Transcript
The Boss: You're fired! woman: Gaaa!!!" The Boss: Not really. But now this 2% raise won't seem so bad. This job is all about managing expectations."
Sunday November 02,
2003
Tags #focusing on bandwidth, #organic growth, #table an issue, #sudebar, #managing expectations, #ducks in a row, #no project
Transcript
The Boss: "Wally, what's the status of your project?" Wally: "Deep breath.. clear my mind..." "I've been focusing my bandwidth on organic growth." "I'm getting lots of push-back, so I'm taking the discussions offline." "But sometimes I table an issue or handle it in a side bar." "Now I have my ducks in a row. The deal-breakers are on the back burner, and I'm managing expectations." The Boss: "Okay... keep up the good work." Dilbert: "Wally, you don't have a project." "What? Then why am I so tired?"
Tuesday August 09,
2016
Expectations
Tags #expectations, #misanthrope, #happiness, #contentment, #psychology
Transcript
Asok: Why is Alice always so angry? Wally: It's a function of her unrealistic expectations. I'm never disappointed because I expect people to be ignorant, self-absorbed, and useless. Asok: Present company excluded? Wally: And there it is.
Thursday December 24,
2020
Wally Does Three Jobs
Tags #business, #money, #fortune, #employer, #employment, #working from home, #job, #manage, #expectations, #people
Transcript
wally and dilbert on video conference call. wally: i'm making a fortune working from home. three different employers think i work only for them. dilbert: how do you do three jobs at the same time: wally: it comes down to managing other people's expectations.
Saturday January 08,
2011
Tags #critics, #employees, #laziness, #big picture guy, #lesser minds, #managing, #implementing, #not getting it, #business
Transcript
Wally: I've decided to become more of a big picture guy. Lesser minds can do the managing and implementing while I criticize them for not :getting it". Dilbert: So...you want to get paid to be a jerk? Wally: said the implementer.
Wednesday December 07,
2011
Tags #meetings, #public speaking, #let slide, #power point, #presentation, #bored, #sleeping audience, #low expectations
Transcript
Dilbert: And that's my last slide, any comments? Woman: You stole an hour of my life, something inside me died. I will never have another good day. Dilbert: I went in with low expectations. Wally: They can't hurt you if you're already dead.
Saturday July 06,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #television, #supreme, #ruler, #earth, #idiots, #drive, #happiness, #expectations, #chips, #king
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a pillow watching tv. He thinks, "The more I watch television, the more I wonder why I'm not already supreme ruler of earth." Dogbert walks away thinking, "Those people are idiots. They should all drive over here and proclaim me their king." Dogbert returns to the pillow with a bag of potato chips and thinks, "The secret to happiness is high expectations and your own bag of chips."
Thursday October 06,
1994
Tags #managing, #marketing group, #previous manager killed, #parking lot, #run down, #murder, #apathy to murder, #body on bumper
Transcript
The Boss: "In addition to my current duties, I'll be managing the marketing group." "The marketing job opened because the previous manager got run down in the parking lot." "When they needed a good manager, they knew where to look." Dilbert: "Under your bumper?"
Saturday May 25,
1996
Tags #two percent annual, #disppoint, #compensated, #drastic, #low expectations, #good sign, #thinking
Transcript
Alice sits at a manager's desk and yells, "A two percent annual raise?!! Wowee!!" Alice continues, "Ha ha! You tried to disappoint me but I compensated by drastically lowering my expectations!" Wally and Dilbert peer in the door and see Alice dancing on a chair and shouting, "Weeee!!" Dilbert says, "Yeah, it MIGHT be a good sign, but I'm thinking not."
Thursday January 09,
1997
Tags #mail order bride, #elbonian, #expectations low, #avoid disappointement, #powder snout, #pig lady
Transcript
Wally opens an air mail package. He thinks, "My Elbonian mail-order bride has arrived." Wally unties the package and thinks, "I must keep my expectations low to avoid any disappointment." A pig wearing a dress and a wig stands in the box. She says, "Where's the ladies sty? I desperately need to powder my snout."