Mandatory Lunchtime Meetings Comic Strips

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260 Results for Mandatory Lunchtime Meetings

View 1 - 10 results for mandatory lunchtime meetings comic strips. Discover the best "Mandatory Lunchtime Meetings" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mandatory lunchtime meetings, #life work balance, #high five, #Catbert

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Catbert and the boss are sitting at a table. Catbert says, "How about mandatory lunchtime meetings?" The boss says, "On the subject of Work-Life Balance!" The boss and Catbert high five each other. Wally and Dilbert peek over a cubicle divider at the the boss, whose hand is bandaged. Wally says, "Uh-oh. He's been high-fiving Catbert again."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #hypocrisy, #mandatory training, #no use, #meetings, #regulatory paperwork, #make a point, #productive

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Boss: You didn't accomplish anything this month. Dilbert: Sure I did. I did the mandatory training that has no use, attended your mandatory meetings that don't help, and filled out regulatory paperwork for things we don't do. Boss: Are you trying to make a point? Dilbert: Nope. Just being productive.

Meetings Are Dense

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Meetings Are Dense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #time, #perception, #joke, #insult, #stupid, #obliviousness

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Dilbert: According to Einstein, time flows more slowly in meetings than it does in empty space. That's because people are dense. Boss: Is that true? Alice: For you it is.

Wally Is Late For Meetings

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Wally Is Late For Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #tardy, #tardiness, #late, #time

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Boss: I'm getting a lot of complaints about you being late for meetings. Wally: They never talk about anything important in the first ten minutes. Boss: They're usually talking about you being late. Wally: Why would I need to be there for that?

Morning Meetings

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Morning Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #morning, #effectiveness, #afternoon, #complain

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dilbert: my creativity energy is highest in the morning, but you always schedule our meetings then. your ill-timed meetings reduce my effectiveness by eighty percent. boss: what do you do in the afternoons? robert: i use that time to complain about my morning meetings.

Mandatory Blockchain Class

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Mandatory Blockchain Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #class, #mandatory, #blockchain, #introductory, #experienced, #developer, #instructor, #phone call

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boss: you haven't completed the mandatory class on blockchain. dilbert: that's an introductory class. i'm already an experienced blockchain developer. boss: the class is mandatory. every developer needs to check the box. dilbert: just check the box for me. boss: only the instructor can do that. and i don't want to call him because he rambles on and on. dilbert looking distressed: you want me to take a two-day class so you won't have to make a phone call? boss: i knew you'd understand. dilbert: what if taking the class causes me to miss my deadlines? boss: no problem. i'll just cancel your bonus.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #questioning, #suspicion, #schedule meetings, #excuse, #do nothing, #disbelief, #scheduling meetings, #business

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Dilbert: Do you mind if I ask Carol to help me schedule these meetings? Boss: Ooh... that's no good. She'd use it as an excuse to do absolutely nothing else for a week. Dilbert: Is it okay if I just stare at you in disbelief? Boss: Shouldn't you be scheduling some meetings?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #meetings, #telephones, #returned calls, #tragus, #phone, #research on excuses, #useless, #big difference

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Coworker says, "Why haven't you returned my calls?" Wally says, "I tried, but when I put the phone to my ear, it pressed my tragus over my ear hole and I couldn't hear a thing." Coworker says, "Do you do research on your excuses before meetings?" Wally says, "I'm not lazy, I'm useless. There's a big difference."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #arrogant, #awesomeness, #deep undertsnding, #meetings, #moral obligation, #no kill switch, #reports, #tecnology, #tone down

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Boss: I'm getting reports that you're being arrogant in meetings. Dilbert: That's because I have a deep understanding of technology and a moral obligation to keep simpletons from ruining the world. Boss: Maybe you could tone it down. Dilbert: There's no kill switch on awesome.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #stand-up, #comedy, #competition, #straightforward, #freestyle, #mandatory, #categories, #mattresses

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've decided to enter the stand-up comedy competition next week." Dilbert reads a document and continues, "The rules seem pretty straightforward . . . Five minutes per person . . . The first minute is freestyle comedy." Dilbert continues, "The remaining time is for the mandatory categories: Dan Quayle, flatulence, and the warning labels on mattresses."