Mandatory Training Vidoes Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for mandatory training vidoes comic strips. Discover the best "Mandatory Training Vidoes" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #another banner week, #accomplishements, #streamlined, #business process, #valuing diversity, #mandatory training vidoes, #lost free will

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Wally, Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at a conference table. Wally says, "I'm pleased to report another banner week of accomplishments!" Wally continues, "I streamlined my business processes while honing my participatory style and my proactive attitude, all while valuing diversity!" The Boss asks, "You watched the mandatory training videos?" Wally adds, "And I lost my free will!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mandatory training, #business ethics, #save money, #training, #decorate offcie, #taken training, #common sense

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The Boss asks Dilbert, "Have you taken the mandatory training for business ethics?" Dilbert answers, "No. But if you SAY I did then you'll save some money on training which you can spend to decorate your office." The Boss says, "Luckily, I haven't taken the training myself." Dilbert says, "I hear it's mostly common sense anyway."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #hr director, #employee oreinetation, #glimmer, #mandatory training video

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Catbert stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I've come to give you 'employee orientation,' Wally." Wally says, "But I've worked here for years." Catbert says, "You still have a glimmer of hope. You'll have to watch this mandatory training video." Wally sits in front of a television and VCR. The video begins, "So, you still have hope . . ." Catbert massages Wally's temples and says, "Relax . . . Let it go."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #hypocrisy, #mandatory training, #no use, #meetings, #regulatory paperwork, #make a point, #productive

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Boss: You didn't accomplish anything this month. Dilbert: Sure I did. I did the mandatory training that has no use, attended your mandatory meetings that don't help, and filled out regulatory paperwork for things we don't do. Boss: Are you trying to make a point? Dilbert: Nope. Just being productive.

Alice Gets Mandatory Training

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Alice Gets Mandatory Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #office workers, #punishment, #threat

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Alice: I can't work with old Ned. He's a sexist, racist, bigoted troglodyte. Catbert: Name-calling is not allowed in this company. I sentence you to three weeks of mandatory training. Alice: I could trangle you with your own tail. Catbert: Six weeks!

Mandatory Training

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Mandatory Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avoidance, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #training

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Boss: You haven't finished the mandatory compliance training modules. Alice: I'm waiting for a strategic time to do them. Boss: Oh, okay. Want to go to lunch? Alice: I would love to, but I have training modules to do.

Stapler Training

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Stapler Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #training, #planning, #meeting, #stapler, #safety, #mandatory, #fight

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boss: dilbert, what have you accomplished since our planning meeting? dilbert: the planning meeting was this morning. all i've done since then is take a mandatory training class on stapler safety. boss: but now you're fresh and ready for the fight? dilbert: only if it's a stapler fight.

Unconscious Bias

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Unconscious Bias - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obliviousness, #office workers, #racism, #training, #bias

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Carol: You haven't completed the mandatory training on unconscious bias. Dilbert: I'm not biased. Carol: Maybe you are when you are not conscious. Dilbert: I'm a bigot in my sleep? Carol: And you look like a drooler.

Can't Take Vacation

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Can't Take Vacation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company policy, #catch-22, #rules, #exception

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Dilbert: Our policy says I can't take my vacation until I complete all of my mandatory training. I can't take the fax safety class because it no longer exists. Can you make a policy exception for me? Boss: Okay, I won't force you to take a vacation.

Doomed Humanity To Annihilation

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Doomed Humanity To Annihilation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #aliens, #attack, #boss, #communication, #managers & supervisors, #mistake, #office workers, #technology, #laser, #nasa

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Boss: The laser communication prototype you built for NASA accidentally vaporized the alien ship heading our way. If it got off a message to its home planet, your stupidity has doomed humanity to annihilation. Also, you didn't complete your mandatory training in chair safety.