Manipulating Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

7 Results for Manipulating

View 1 - 7 results for manipulating comic strips. Discover the best "Manipulating" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2012's comic on:

Tags #computer software, #inventions, #3d network, #motion sensors, #sneezed, #merged network, #15th of cisco

View Transcript

Transcript

In the near future Wally: I was manipulating a 3-D network model using my hand motion sensors. It was all good until I sneezed and accidentally merged my network design with my outlook calendar. Boss: When will you have that fixed? Wally: I should be done by... the 15th of Cisco.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 1998's comic on:

Tags #email monitoring system, #personal message, #unpaid overtime, #cluelessness in vicinity, #manipulating emplyee

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands behind Alice at her desk. He reads from a sheet of paper and says, "Out new e-mail monitoring system shows that you sent a personal message last week." Alice looks non-plussed. Alice sticks her thumbs in her ears and waves her hands. She says, "Coincidentally, the new Alice monitoring system detects twenty hours of unpaid overtime." The Boss thinks, "According to the manual, productivity will soar now." Alice says, "Beep.. beep.. boop.. now detecting cluelessness in the vicinity."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2000's comic on:

Tags #south pole, #sending away, #control freak, #manipulating, #sending dilbert, #cold

View Transcript

Transcript

Noriko says to Dilbert, "I signed you up for a trip to the South Pole." Dilbert asks Noriko, "Um... why?" Noriko says to Dilbert, "You'll love it. You leave tomorrow." Dilbert says forcefully to Noriko, "I am not going to the South Pole!" Noriko says to Dilbert, "Oh, I get it; You're a control freak." Dilbert yells, "GAAA! Can't you see that it's you who is trying to control me?!! Noriko says to Dilbert, "All I see is you trying to manipulate me into not sending you to the South Pole." Dilbert, dressed in a fur-trimmed parka and carrying a suitcase, says to Catbert, "It seemed easier."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2014's comic on:

Tags #emotional manipulation, #executives, #financial gain, #leader, #leaders, #less unlikable, #lonely job, #manipulation, #obliviousness, #popularity

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Being a leader is a lonely job. Dilbert: Try being less of a #!@*. Then people might want to spend time with you. CEO: I don't see how that could work. Dilbert: Can we get back to manipulating my emotions for financial gain?

Haircut Illuminati

Thank you for voting.
Haircut Illuminati - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2015's comic on:

Tags #secret society, #organizations, #illuminati, #hair, #hairstyles, #haircut, #barber, #Politics, #politicians, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I became a member of the Hairdresser Illuminati. Dilbert: The what? Dogbert: It's a shadowy organization that controls the world by manipulating the hairstyles of political candidates. Boss: What is my barber doing here? Dogbert: That haircut will never become your next president.

Dilbert Characters

Wally Is Employee Of The Year

Thank you for voting.
Wally Is Employee Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2016's comic on:

Tags #cheating, #referral, #employment, #reward, #award, #bonus, #proof, #guest artist, #jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our Employee Of The Year is Wally, for referring so many new people to work in engineering. We believe he accomplished this feat by manipulating the referral system, but we can't prove it. So just to hedge our bet, we misspelled his name on the certificate. Wally: I had it coming.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2018's comic on:

Tags #business, #decision, #executives, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #success, #manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Profits have increased thirty percent under my leadership. Dilbert: Snort. CEO: What? Dilbert: All you do is pick the best plans from the options we show you. CEO: Exactly, and I pick the best plan every time. Dilbert: That's because we only show you the best plans compared to the worst plans we can think of. We control every decision you make by manipulating your perception of the options. CEO: We need to fix that. Dilbert: How do you fix something that isn't broken?