Many Tools Comic Strips
Search Filters
Year
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
284 Results for Many Tools
View 1 - 10 results for many tools comic strips. Discover the best "Many Tools" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 02,
1999
Tags #process will fail, #everything, #plan work, #many tools, #conference call
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a table with another man (Ted). Dilbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "You're suggesting a process that will fail even if we do evrything right." The man says, "When can you start?" Dilbert says, "Listen carefully. No amount of skill or effort can make this plan work." The guy says, "No pain, no gain." Dilbert says, "you're not working with many tools here, are you?" The man says, "We need some sort of conferance call."
Thursday April 28,
2011
Tags #anxiety, #confused, #emails accounts, #internet & world wide web, #might snap, #pin code, #too many passwords, #user names, #chaos, #crazy, #lose it, #mental, #breakdown, #overload, #technological, #psychology
Transcript
Dogbert's password recovery service. Ted: I have so many passwords and email accounts and user names that I don't know what goes to what. I'm lost. If you can't help me I think I might snap. Dogbert: No problem. What's your password recovery PIN code? Noise: SNAP!
Sunday July 03,
2011
Tags #questioning, #shopping, #hardware, #powerpoint deck, #boss, #ambiguity, #mumbling, #change subject, #badger for answer, #too many questions
Transcript
Dilbert: Can you look at this bid and let me know if I can order the hardware? Boss: yes. Dilbert: Are you saying yes I can order the hardware, or yes you'll look at it? Boss: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: What? Boss: I need your input on my Powerpoint deck. Dilbert: So far, in response to my request, you've given me ambiguity, mumbling, and a change of subject. Would you prefer that I badger you for an answer until you get angry, or should I return to my cubicle and resume being ineffective? Boss: You ask too many questions.
Thursday September 08,
2011
Tags #computer software, #computers & peripherals, #conversation, #risk assessment tools, #communicate, #enhance sector
Transcript
Man: We need to enhance our sector-relevant support for a suite of integrated risk assessment tools. Do you understand? Dilbert: Maybe. Is your point that you don't know how to communicate? Man: No. Dilbert: Oh. Then I didn't get it.
Monday September 19,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #competition (psychology), #tweaks to ideas, #fails, #claim credit, #many forms genius, #steaming an oval
Transcript
Boss: I made a few tweaks to your idea. Now if it fails it was your idea, and if it works I can claim credit. Boss: Genius comes in many forms. Dilbert: Such as steaming and oval?
Tuesday December 20,
2011
Tags #employees, #interviews, #tools for job, #resource, #agree to disagree, #business
Transcript
Boss: Question four: do you have the tools to do your job? Wally: That depends. Do you consider yourself a tool? Boss: I'm a resource. Wally: Let's agree to disagree.
Tuesday February 28,
2012
Tags #collaboration tools, #human contact, #internet & world wide web, #judegment, #long term goal, #meetings, #suite of tools
Transcript
Wally: I'm designing a suite of internet collaboration tools. It's part of my long-term goal to eliminate all forms of direct human contact. Co-worker: That's messed up. Wally: You're exactly what I'm trying to avoid.
Tuesday March 13,
2012
Tags #astronomy, #billions of planets, #scientists, #version of dilbert, #earth like, #many universes
Transcript
Computer: Scientists say there might be billions of planets like Earth. And we might be one of many universes. Dilbert: I wonder if there's a version of me out there who loves his job. Woman: What has three thumbs and wants a should massage? Dilbert: This guy! Meanwhile, on XPKQ-75
Friday July 12,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #therapy, #psychiatry, #therapist, #tools, #pocket, #secondary colors, #color theory, #pens
Transcript
Dilbert lies on a couch and a psychologist sits next to him taking notes on a pad of paper. Dilbert says, "I can't stop putting writing tools in my shirt pocket . . ." Dilbert continues, "It started harmlessly . . . First a pen, then two. Now I'm afraid to go anywhere without a pen and pencil of every color." The psychiatrist asks, "Do you have the secondary colors?" Dilbert replies, "There are SECONDARY colors?!"
Saturday February 10,
1996
Tags #Dogbert, #forget them, #quietly supportuive, #too many passwords, #with draw money, #phone messages
Transcript
Dilbert lies on the couch looking worried and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dilbert says, "I have too many passwords in my life. What if I forget them?" Dogbert's ears fly up and he shouts, "You'd lose your job! You wouldn't be able to withdraw money or check phone messages! You'd be dead in a week!" Dilbert's hair and tie fly up and he says, "That would have been a good time to be quietly supportive, Dogbert." Dogbert responds, "Oh, yeah, that's a lot of fun."