Marketing Wasn't Cooperating Comic Strips
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352 Results for Marketing Wasn't Cooperating
View 1 - 10 results for marketing wasn't cooperating comic strips. Discover the best "Marketing Wasn't Cooperating" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday February 07,
2007
Tags marketing wasn't cooperating, come running, probelms, hyprocrsy, set up
Transcript
Dilbert: You said to tell you if marketing wasn't cooperating. The Boss: You can't come running to me with every little problem. Go fix it. Dilbert: Then why did you tell me to tell you?! The boss: It's just something I say.
Saturday February 07,
2015
Marketing Is Only Legal Because It Doesn't Work
Tags etiquette & ethics, marketing, robot, robotics, slave, technology, emotionally manipulate, marketing leagl, enslave humans, business
Transcript
Coworker: Sales are up 900% since we programmed our robots to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Dilbert: Um, you do know marketing is only legal because it doesn't work most of the time, right? Coworker; Nope. I do not know that. Shiny! Dilbert: We invented a technology to enslave homo sapiens?
Saturday October 07,
2017
Fix It With Marketing
Monday March 11,
2019
Marketing Lies
Tags Dilbert, boss, headphones, competition, meeting, marketing, lies
Transcript
Dilbert: Our new headphones product is better than the competition in every way. Boss: Excellent. I'll get marketing involved to tell a bunch of lies about all of that. Dilbert: Why would they need to lie? Boss: They're kind of set in their ways.
Friday March 22,
2019
Sean From Extreme Marketing
Tags extreme, marketing, sean, brainwashing, technology, unapprove, first
Transcript
Boss: This is Sean from the extreme marketing department. He's here to tell us about our new brainwashing technology. Dilbert: I don't approve of brainwashing. Sean: That's why I'm going to do you first.
Friday June 14,
2019
Evil Marketing
Tags business, business ethics, chimps, evil, marketing, office, product
Transcript
dilbert, the boss and dogbert at conference room table. the boss: our competition released a product that makes our product look like it was designed by chimps. the boss: that's why i hired the world's most evil marketing expert to help us close the perception gap. the boss: should we focus on our value proposition? dogbert: if that means accusing them of crimes they didn't commit, then yes.
Saturday June 15,
2019
First Time Doing Marketing
Tags business, business ethics, criminals, marketing, office
Transcript
dilbert, dogbert and the boss at conference room table. dogbert: your competition has a superior product, but you can compensate by branding them as evil. dilbert: we can say they charge too much. dogbert: or...we can say their leather cases are made from the skin of executed criminals. dilbert: but that would not be true. dogbert: first time doing marketing?
Friday January 10,
2020
Just Like Marketing
Tags business, marketing, project, managers, stupidity, transfer, extinguished, divinity
Transcript
boss: how's your project going? dilbert: it was doing fine until a thick wave of stupidity swept over it and extinguished my spark of divinity. i don't know what will become of me. boss: i'll transfer you to marketing. they're all like that.
Tuesday February 04,
2020
Marketing Complains
Tags business, managers & supervisors, marketing, complain, moronic, fired
Transcript
boss: marketing is complaining that you're not using their ideas. dilbert: that's because all of their ideas are moronic. boss: i told them i fired you. don't leave your cubicle or use any digital devices until this blows over.
Saturday April 04,
2020
Genius Marketing
Tags business, sarcasm, products, sales, team, shoddy, incompetent, marketing, genius, correct, blush
Transcript
dogbert: your products are shoddy, and your sales teams are incompetent. but there is a theoretical amount of marketing genius that can fix all of that. boss: are you that genius? dogbert: please. you're making me blush.