Search Results for "marketing group"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 334

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 1994's comic on:

Tags #managing, #marketing group, #previous manager killed, #parking lot, #run down, #murder, #apathy to murder, #body on bumper

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "In addition to my current duties, I'll be managing the marketing group." "The marketing job opened because the previous manager got run down in the parking lot." "When they needed a good manager, they knew where to look." Dilbert: "Under your bumper?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 1995's comic on:

Tags #told stan, #marketing, #dna, #gullibility, #reverse process, #entire reality, #unverified, #anecdotes, #rumour, #alleged focus group, #becoming weasel, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I jokingly told Stan in marketing that I reprogrammed his DNA. He's so gullible that he's actually changing!" Dogbert suggests, "You must use his gullibility to reverse the process. Remember, his entire reality is shaped by unverified customer anecdotes." Dilbert tells Stan, "I heard a rumor of a story of an alleged focus group where a quote taken out of context indicates you're not becoming a weasel." Stan says, "I'm not?! Yipeee!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #class, #career, #options, #engineer, #retire, #major, #catastrophe, #consultants, #project, #teams, #real, #crush, #marketing, #donuts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a classroom of children, "The goal of every engineer is to retire without getting blamed for a major catastrophe." Dilbert continues, "Engineers prefer to work as 'consultants' on project teams. That way there's no real work, blame is spread across the group, and you can crush any idea from marketing!" Dilbert continues, ". . . And sometimes you get free donuts just for showing up!" The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2002's comic on:

Tags #the ceo visit, #presentation, #bloated department, #eleiminate, #budget meeting, #marketing department

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: The CEO Visit. The CEO says to The Boss, "Thanks for the presentation. Your department seems bloated." The CEO continues, "I'll eliminate half of your group in the next budget meeting." The Boss replies, "Thank you." Dilbert asks The Boss, "What are you going to do?" The Boss replies, "Nothing. I told him we're the marketing department."

Marketing Is Only Legal Because It Doesn't Work

Thank you for voting.
Marketing Is Only Legal Because It Doesn't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2015's comic on:

Tags #etiquette & ethics, #marketing, #robot, #robotics, #slave, #technology, #emotionally manipulate, #marketing leagl, #enslave humans, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Sales are up 900% since we programmed our robots to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Dilbert: Um, you do know marketing is only legal because it doesn't work most of the time, right? Coworker; Nope. I do not know that. Shiny! Dilbert: We invented a technology to enslave homo sapiens?

View more books now

Fix It With Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Fix It With Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2017's comic on:

Tags #marketing, #lying, #ethics, #advertising, #deception, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our product has fewer features and a higher price compared to our competitors. Boss: We'll fix that with a little thing I call "marketing." Dilbert: Lying is unethical. Boss: That's why we only mislead.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2011's comic on:

Tags #computers & peripherals, #embarrassment, #internet & world wide web, #developed app, #spare time, #awful thing, #lees hinest, #marketing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I developed this app in my spare time. What do you think? Dilbert: I think you made spare time look like an awful thing. If you'd like a less honest answer, I can recommend someone in marketing. Ted: I might try that.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2011's comic on:

Tags #embarrassment, #internet & world wide web, #website, #moradc, #nicknames, #client satisfactions surveys, #group monitors, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac: Ted, the I.S. group monitors every website you visit. Based on that information, we came up with a list of nicknames for you. My job got a lot more fun after we stopped doing the client satisfaction surveys. Mordac

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2011's comic on:

Tags #apps, #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #new smartphone, #tongue on flagpole, #victime of good marketing, #voice reception

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Check out my new smartphone! The voice receptions is a bit weak, but I can usually make a call if I keep my tongue on a flagpole. Alice: You might be a victim of good marketing. Carol: It has apps!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2011's comic on:

Tags #customer survey data, #marketing, #design, #engineering secret, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The customer survey data is for marketing eyes only. design the next release and we'll tell you if its what everyone wanted. How long will it take? Dilbert: Thats an engineering secret.