Marketing People Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Marketing People

View 1 - 10 results for marketing people comic strips. Discover the best "Marketing People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #illness, #marketing people, #brain heals, #drank sludge, #brain worm, #dead in a week, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Hi-ho, marketing people! I've been transferred into your department until mky brain heals. I drank some industrial sludge. But don't worry - I'll be able to shake it off in a few days. A little pollution can't hurt me. I grew up in India. This brain worm will be dead in a week, tops.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #never managed, #marketing people, #do marketing things, #segments, #focus groups, #segmenting, #dominate industry, #motivated

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I've never managed marketing people before. But a good manager can manage anything." "So...I order you to go do marketing things...like segmenting and focus groups..." "And keep focusing and segmenting until we dominate the industry!!!" Worker: "Well, I'm motivated."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design product brochure, #criminal fraud, #marketing, #not worng, #conscience, #marketing epople, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss tells Dilbert, "I want you to work with our marketing people to design a product brochure." Dilbert thinks, "Groan." Dilbert sits at a conference table with a man from marketing. The man says, "Remember, what we do here might seem like criminal fraud but it's not. It's marketing!" Dilbert says, "Okay, as long as it's not wrong . . ." The man says, "Here's a jar to keep your conscience in. I'll put it in the closet with mine."

Brainstorm With Other Engineers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brainstorm With Other Engineers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product design, #managers, #marketing, #simplicity, #complication, #inventions, #ideas, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our marketing people tell me your double-handed coffee mug could be a huge seller. Brainstorm with the other engineers and see if it needs more features. Wally: Do you have any other ideas for ruining the product, or should I focus on that one?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #system, #data, #bits, #virtual, #array, #conflugalize, #words, #woman, #female, #employees

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a conference table with three people from marketing. A woman says, "Maybe Dilbert can explain to the marketing people how the system works." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . So the electrons alter the data bits . . . And then they go to the virtual array where they conflugalize. Got it?" The woman asks, "How many of those words did you just make up?" Dilbert thinks, "They're on to me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, I've received some complaints that you have been bonking the heads of marketing people on tables." "Where else should I bonk their heads? Tables are the best places!!!" "I don't think I'm getting through." "The chair is way too soft!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #actively isleads, #hypocrite, #marketing, #table, #talk to furniture, #tell people, #you mislead cutsomers, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is standing on a desk, still in his magician's hat. Dilbert says, "You have to stop telling people that you can talk to furniture. It's not right." Dogbert replies, "You work for a company that actively misleads customers. How's that different?" Dilbert says, "We call it marketing, and we don't wear hats." Dogbert responds, "The table says you're a hypocrite."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trump, #free stuff, #resources, #free samples, #rich people, #marketing campaign

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How can I create a marketing campaign if my boss doesn't give me any resources? Dogbert: "Try giving free samples to people who look like celebrities." Dilbert: "And you would be?" TRUMP: "Donald trump. Give me some free stuff."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new marketing strategy, #past cutomers, #flu symptoms, #sick people, #appeal to sick people, #reinvent dead horse, #duh- mensuon, #floating scared darkness, #confusing cause & effect

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Jimmy will explain our new marketing strategy." Jimmy says, "A study of past customers shows that 96% of them have flu symptoms." Jimmy continues, "Apparently, sick people are the most likely to buy from us. We don't know why." Jimmy points to a slide of an ill man and says, "So we redesigned our ad campaign to appeal to sick people." Alice says to Jimmy, "You're confusing cause and effect. Your study shows that our products make people sick." Jimmy responds, "Alice, let's not reinvent a dead horse." Alice panics and says, "Suddenly nothing makes sense.. I must have slipped into the meeting duh-mension!" Alice leans back in a daze and says, "Floating.. Scared.. Darkness." The Boss says, "This usually lasts about 10 minutes."

Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers, #insults, #marketing, #office workers, #sales, #teaching, #smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My boss asked me to teach a class on coding because it is hard to find programmers in this job market. Are there any smart people in the class or do you all work in marketing and sales? Voice: What's that supposed to mean? Dilbert: Thank you. Is anyone else in sales?