Marketing Starategy Comic Strips
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226 Results for Marketing Starategy
View 1 - 10 results for marketing starategy comic strips. Discover the best "Marketing Starategy" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday January 09,
2000
Tags #added up columns, #grocery list, #marketing starategy, #pros and cons, #quantified, #unhealthy
Transcript
Ted, Dilbert, Alice and the boss are sitting in a meeting. Ted says: "I quantified our marketing strategy because you insisted." Ted holds up a sheet of paper with lists on it and says: "I listed the pros and cons on this sheet." Ted says to Dilbert: "Then I added up the columns." Ted puts the sheet of paper on the table and says: "The pros outnumber the cons, so we're going forward." Dilbert has the sheet of paper in his hands now and says to Ted: "Let's see. Your cons include...unhealthy and unprofitable. Dilbert keeps reading from the sheet of paper and says: "Your pros are...waffles, eggs, bananas and milk." Ted says to Dilbert: "Oops. That might be my grocery list." Ted gets angry and shakes his arm with the sheet of paper up and down and screams to Dilbert: "You fool! I told you quantification never works!!"
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Saturday February 07,
2015
Marketing Is Only Legal Because It Doesn't Work
Tags #etiquette & ethics, #marketing, #robot, #robotics, #slave, #technology, #emotionally manipulate, #marketing leagl, #enslave humans, #business
Transcript
Coworker: Sales are up 900% since we programmed our robots to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Dilbert: Um, you do know marketing is only legal because it doesn't work most of the time, right? Coworker; Nope. I do not know that. Shiny! Dilbert: We invented a technology to enslave homo sapiens?
Saturday October 07,
2017
Fix It With Marketing
Tags #marketing, #lying, #ethics, #advertising, #deception, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: Our product has fewer features and a higher price compared to our competitors. Boss: We'll fix that with a little thing I call "marketing." Dilbert: Lying is unethical. Boss: That's why we only mislead.
Monday March 11,
2019
Marketing Lies
Tags #Dilbert, #boss, #headphones, #competition, #meeting, #marketing, #lies
Transcript
Dilbert: Our new headphones product is better than the competition in every way. Boss: Excellent. I'll get marketing involved to tell a bunch of lies about all of that. Dilbert: Why would they need to lie? Boss: They're kind of set in their ways.
Friday March 22,
2019
Sean From Extreme Marketing
Tags #extreme, #marketing, #sean, #brainwashing, #technology, #unapprove, #first
Transcript
Boss: This is Sean from the extreme marketing department. He's here to tell us about our new brainwashing technology. Dilbert: I don't approve of brainwashing. Sean: That's why I'm going to do you first.
Friday June 14,
2019
Evil Marketing
Tags #business, #business ethics, #chimps, #evil, #marketing, #office, #product
Transcript
dilbert, the boss and dogbert at conference room table. the boss: our competition released a product that makes our product look like it was designed by chimps. the boss: that's why i hired the world's most evil marketing expert to help us close the perception gap. the boss: should we focus on our value proposition? dogbert: if that means accusing them of crimes they didn't commit, then yes.
Saturday June 15,
2019
First Time Doing Marketing
Tags #business, #business ethics, #criminals, #marketing, #office
Transcript
dilbert, dogbert and the boss at conference room table. dogbert: your competition has a superior product, but you can compensate by branding them as evil. dilbert: we can say they charge too much. dogbert: or...we can say their leather cases are made from the skin of executed criminals. dilbert: but that would not be true. dogbert: first time doing marketing?
Friday January 10,
2020
Just Like Marketing
Tags #business, #marketing, #project, #managers, #stupidity, #transfer, #extinguished, #divinity
Transcript
boss: how's your project going? dilbert: it was doing fine until a thick wave of stupidity swept over it and extinguished my spark of divinity. i don't know what will become of me. boss: i'll transfer you to marketing. they're all like that.
Tuesday February 04,
2020
Marketing Complains
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #marketing, #complain, #moronic, #fired
Transcript
boss: marketing is complaining that you're not using their ideas. dilbert: that's because all of their ideas are moronic. boss: i told them i fired you. don't leave your cubicle or use any digital devices until this blows over.
Saturday April 04,
2020
Genius Marketing
Tags #business, #sarcasm, #products, #sales, #team, #shoddy, #incompetent, #marketing, #genius, #correct, #blush
Transcript
dogbert: your products are shoddy, and your sales teams are incompetent. but there is a theoretical amount of marketing genius that can fix all of that. boss: are you that genius? dogbert: please. you're making me blush.