Martial Comic Strips
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7 Results for Martial
View 1 - 7 results for martial comic strips. Discover the best "Martial" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 29,
1998
Tags #declare martial law, #jailing ombudsmen, #personal phone calls, #recommend changes, #shoot emplyees, #shoot employees
Transcript
Dogbert and The Boss sitting at table. Dogbert passes a memo to The Boss and says, "Although your company is very profitable, I wouldn't be much of a consultant if I didn't recommend changes." The Boss views the recommendations and says, "You recommend jailing our ombudsman and declaring martial law ... makes sense." The Boss asks Dogbert, "Then could I shoot employees who make personal phone calls?" Dogbert replies, "It's okay with me."
Wednesday September 30,
2015
Tags #martial arts, #yoga, #stupid, #idiot, #confusion, #tai chi, #karate, #misunderstanding
Transcript
Boss: I signed up for a martial arts class. It's something called "yoga." Carol: Have you killed anyone yet? Boss: Not on purpose.
Thursday October 01,
2015
Tags #fitness, #martial arts, #violence, #fighting, #yoga, #misunderstanding, #exercise, #fusion, #danger, #health
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm almost positive yoga is not one of the martial arts. Boss: Not by itself. We're learning a defensive style of yoga that incorporates the more violent elements of feng shui and Irish dancing. Dilbert: That doesn't sound lethal. Boss: Put your head on the ground and say that again.
Wednesday February 19,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #compelte, #eons, #martial, #bliss, #gomer, #somebody, #enlightened, #ruebert, #hell
Transcript
Ruebert the Robot says to Dilbert, "My mate is complete! I will now have eons of marital bliss!" The female robot says, "I don't think so, Gomer. I'm going to shop around . . . Maybe find somebody more enlightened than a can opener." Ruebert says, "It's Ruebert, not Gomer, and I'm the only other robot in existence!" The female robot thinks, "I'm in hell."
Tuesday May 25,
2010
Tags #volunteer, #project, #not enough resources, #flunky, #scared, #sucky, #laugh, #smile, #puppet boy, #dance, #happy
Transcript
Alice says, "Guess what, Ted? I volunteered to run a critical project while knowing I don't have enough resources." Alice says, "When it becomes a crisis, I will delcare martial law and order you to become my flunky." Alice says, "In your face, puppet boy!" Ted says, "This day is turning out to be a little extra sucky."
Friday October 02,
2015
Tags #martial arts, #self defense, #robber, #mugging, #mugger, #yoga, #dance, #fight, #beaten, #fists, #hit
Transcript
Thief: Hey! Give me your wallet. Boss: I must warn you that I am skilled in the arts of yoga, feng shui, and Irish dancing. Dilbert: But it wasn't enough? Boss: He did a fist thing.
Friday June 30,
2017
Asok Uses An Algorithm
Tags #office workers, #cubicle, #popularity, #algorithm, #decision
Transcript
Asok: After the office redesign, you will be in the cubicle nearest our pointy-haired boss. Man: How did you decide on that? Asok: I used an algorithm. Man: Is the algorithm that you hate me? Asok: And you have never studied martial arts.