Search Results for "master at work"
Share July 10, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert says to the Boss, "I need your full management support in this meeting with sales." The Boss replies, "Just watch the master at work." A man says to the Boss, "I promised a customer a product that we don't make. You need to engineer-up a thousand units by early next week." The Boss asks, "Is Thursday okay?" As they walk away, the Boss says to Dilbert, "Wait until he finds out that Thursday isn't 'early next week.' Hee hee!"
Share April 20, 1995's comic on:
Wally stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "We're moving to a new office across town. I volunteered to coordinate the move." Wally continues, "I control your cubicle assignment. Nay, your very existence. From now on you will refer to me as 'Lord Wally the Puppet Master.'" Dilbert says, "I don't think it's legal to enjoy your work this much." Wally waves his hands and says, "I banish you to the cubicle closest to your boss!!"
Share July 04, 1997's comic on:
Dogbert and Dilbert sit on the couch. Dogbert dials a number on the telephone. Dogbert says, "I am Dogbert, your lord and master! Submit to my will, you worthless cretin!" Dilbert uses the remote control to change the TV channel. Dilbert asks, "Does telemarketing work for that sort of thing?" Dogbert replies, "You'll know tomorrow; that was your voice mail."
Share November 10, 2014's comic on:
CEO: We can only succeed if we work harder than our competitors! Oops, gotta go. My helicopter is here to take me to my massage appointment on my superyacht. Stop staring at me. I only have to work harder than other CEOs.
Share December 09, 2014's comic on:
Dilbert: I don't know how you juggle work plus a family. Carol: Spending time with my family is like fighting porcupines in a salt mine. I come here just to get away from them. Dilbert: So... you like your job? Carol: No, but at least I can go home to get away from it.
Share March 09, 2015's comic on:
Coworker: I noticed you don't do much work. Wally: My philosophy is that there will be plenty of time to work when I'm dead. Coworker: But you won't be here to do it. Wally: I guess you don't know what a perfect system looks like.
Share July 09, 2015's comic on:
Wally: Remember, Asok, success requires hard work and sacrifice. Asok: Got it! I will work hard and sacrifice! Wally: I was going to say that's why you should avoid success. Who brainwashed you?
Share January 11, 2016's comic on:
Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Are you being sarcastic? You know my life is an endless string of useless tasks orchestrated by idiots. Why do you even ask? Dogbert: I like hearing it? Dilbert: Your honesty is not refreshing.
Share June 08, 2016's comic on:
Alice: There' s rumor that you're cheating on me with another "work wife." Dilbert: I let Tina criticize me a little. But I swear it didn't mean anything. And... she makes me look for her lost keys. Alice: I knew it!
Share June 10, 2016's comic on:
Dilbert: Alice, I am breaking up with you as my work wife. Tina complains less and she sends me on fewer errands, so I choose her. Alice: What's your game? Tina: I'm running a bait-and-switch on him.