Mean Spirited Comic Strips
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331 Results for Mean Spirited
View 1 - 10 results for mean spirited comic strips. Discover the best "Mean Spirited" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday August 29,
1997
Tags #Dogbert, #network systems, #software manual, #manuals, #mean spirirted, #meet half way, #door, #window
Transcript
Dobert and Wally stand looking through a window in a door. Books are stacked on the other side. Dogbert says, "The software manuals are locked in this room." Dogbert continues, "I don't let users have manuals, for reasons that could only be described as mean-spirited." Wally presses himself against the glass and says, "Is there any way we can meet half-way on this?" Dogbert says, "Hey, that door didn't always have a window."
Monday June 16,
2008
Tags #baby eater, #gossipsize, #vicious rumors, #taken down, #pushed out, #mean spirited
Transcript
Catbert says, "Ted, I've decided to gossipsize you." Catbert says, "I'm spreading vicious rumors about you until you feel compelled to quit." Ted says, "People are too smart to..." Someone says, "PIPE DOWN, BABY EATER!"
Sunday April 13,
2008
Tags #brilliant ideas, #carnage, #honesty, #ignorance, #ludicrous ideas, #mean spirited, #mistaken self image, #roll eyes, #share project, #verbally demolish
Transcript
Alice, I'm hoping we can work together on this project in the spirit of cooperation. I'll have some ideas, and you'll have some ideas, and together we can pick the best ones. Alice: Sure, that's one approach. But I prefer to exhale deeply and roll my eyes while you prattle. Then I will verbally demolish your ludicrous ideas, and dismantle your mistaken self-image as a competent man. The carnage will create a striking contrast for the warm, clear glow of my brilliant ideas. Later, I will round out the package by spreading amusing stories about how ignorant you are. Is there any chance of doing it my way? Alice: Now watch the eyes."
Wednesday September 19,
2007
Tags #coworkers, #mean spirited, #nasty comments, #Family, #cubicle, #window, #envy
Transcript
Man: "Alice, Did you hear I'm getting a cubicle by the window?" Alice: "Although I wouldn't want that cubicle because of the glare, the fact that you want it makes me hate you for getting it." Man: "We're like a family here." Alice: "I hope it collapses on your head!"
Monday December 31,
2007
Tags #hate holidays, #day before holoday, #stop working, #cheapens work, #year round, #mean spirited, #bitter worker, #hyprocrit
Transcript
Wally: I hate it when people stop working because it's the day before a holiday. "Ha! Ha! Ha!" Wally: "It cheapens the lack of work that I cultivate year-round." Asok: "I saw the funniest video clip!" Wally: "Tourist!"
Tuesday November 10,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #floyd, #help, #co-worker, #hate, #job, #mean, #vital, #information, #control, #secretary
Transcript
Dilbert kneels in front of Floyd's desk. Floyd yells, "What?! You think I'll help you just because I'm your co-worker?? Ha! I hate co-workers!" Dilbert begs, "All I need is . . ." Floyd yells, "I hate this job! I hate everything! The only thing I like is being mean to co-workers who need the vital information that I control!" Dilbert's underwear has been streched over his head. Another man with a wedgie says, "If you think YOU hate him, you should try being his secretary."
Monday June 10,
1996
Tags #advanced material, #designing at work, #good batch, #pyrophoric mean
Transcript
Dilbert and Liz sit at a table looking at various containers. Liz says, "These are some of the advanced materials I'm designing at work. That jar holds a pyrophoric substance." Dilbert picks it up and says, "Let's see." The jar explodes in his face. Dilbert looks charred and small clouds of smoke rise from his head. He says, "Yep, that's a good batch." Liz says, "A person from a smarter gender might have said 'What does "pyrophoric" mean?'"
Saturday November 22,
1997
Tags #new fog, #rolling in, #mean one thing, #time to reorganize
Transcript
A cloud moves towards Alice and she says, "A new fog is rolling in." Dilbert sits at his computer, his head obscured by fog. "This can mean only one thing." The Boss walks up to Carol, fog pouring from his ears and says, "Carol, schedule a staff meeting. It's time to reorganize the department."
Thursday June 28,
2001
Tags #more with less, #work smarter, #broadening focus, #doesn't mean anything, #excuse leaderhsip
Transcript
The Boss sits at the conference table next to Dilbert and Wally. The Boss says, "We need to do more with less." Wally raises his hand and says, "I propose that we work smarter while broadening our focus." The Boss says, "Wally, that doesn't mean anything." Wally replies, "Well, excuse my leadership."
Friday October 24,
2003
Tags #dilbert died, #funeral, #casket, #running with sciccors, #what does mean, #pastor, #newspapaer slots open, #money, #ka ching
Transcript
WHos Todays Guest Cartoonist? ...when I first heard Dilbert had died while running with scissors,I , too was stunned.I too, asked "whats it all mean?" That 2, 247 newspaper slots are now wiiiiide open , baby! ...ka-ching! ka-Ching! ...sorry about the ka -things. *answer: go to Dilbert.com