Mention In Documents Comic Strips
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75 Results for Mention In Documents
View 1 - 10 results for mention in documents comic strips. Discover the best "Mention In Documents" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 27,
1995
Tags #changes to design, #work around clock, #work smarter, #not harder, #violate laws of physics, #create radiation, #ill user, #mention in documents, #beta tester
Transcript
Wally sits at his desk and Dilbert stands behind him. The Boss enters and says, "I made a few changes to the design." Dilbert reads a document and looks shocked. He says, "We'll have to work around the clock for months to make these changes!!" The Boss says, "Work smarter, not harder." Wally looks at the changes and says, "You're trying to violate the laws of physics!" The Boss replies, "Rules were made to be broken." Dilbert says, "This design would create enough radiation to instantly kill the user!!" The Boss walks away and says, "Be sure to mention that in the documentation." Dilbert says to Wally, "Let's work smarter not harder." Wally replies, "I think we found the only 'beta' tester we'll need."
Friday December 23,
2011
Tags #big business, #cost & standard of living, #green goals, #recycling bins, #company documents, #corporate secuirty, #blue recycling bins, #same policies
Transcript
Boss: To reach our green goals, employees must always use the blue recycling bins for company documents. To satisfy our corporate security guidelines, never put company documents in the blue recycling bins. Dilbert: You read those same policies to us last week. Boss: I don't know how to get rid of them.
Saturday April 21,
2012
Tags #bury, #top secret, #proprietary, #documents, #woods, #shovel, #tied up, #mumble
Transcript
Boss: I need you to bury some top secret proprietary documents in the woods for me. Man: Mmm mmph. Boss: Come back in ten minutes.
Saturday February 13,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #critical, #third, #date, #casually, #mention, #hidden, #deformities, #horrible, #secrets, #dating, #mob boss
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert thinks, "This is it . . . The critical third date." Dilbert thinks, "This is when they casually mention any hidden deformities or horrible secrets to see if you still like them." The woman says, "Some people say you should stop dating after you marry a mob boss."
Monday January 16,
1995
Tags #paper burning stove, #lower heating bills, #useless documents, #love your work, #warm feeling
Transcript
Dilbert installs a stove while Dogbert watches. Dilbert says, "I'm installing a paper-burning stove to lower our heating bills." Dilbert says, "I'll fuel it with all the useless documents I get at work." At the office, the Boss sees Dilbert carrying a stack of papers and asks, "I've been noticing how much stuff you take home. You must love your work." Dilbert replies, "It gives me a warm feeling."
Tuesday January 17,
1995
Tags #volume of work, #quiet leadership, #inspires us, #promote, #manager, #work ethic, #use documents, #heat house, #job offering, #writing
Transcript
The Boss sees Dilbert carrying a stack of paper and says, "We've all noticed the volume of work you carry around. Your quiet leadership inspires us." The Boss continues, "I'd like to promote you to manager so you can imbue others with your work ethic." At home, Dilbert loads the paper into the furnace while Dogbert watches. Dogbert asks, "Does he know you use the documents to heat our house?" Dilbert replies, "No. And I asked him to put the job offer in writing."
Saturday March 18,
1995
Tags #own company, #Dogbert, #trim middle management, #fire anyone, #fyi on documents, #fyi files in barrel
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally stand in front of Dogbert who is sitting at a desk. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Now that you own the company, what do you plan to do?" Dogbert answers, "Trim middle management." Dogbert continues, "I'll fire anybody who gives me a document marked 'FYI.' Those people have too much time on their hands." A manager carrying a wheelbarrow full of documents marked "FYI" asks Dilbert and Wally, "Are you sure this will set me apart from the other managers?" Wally replies, "You'll be surprised how quickly."
Saturday September 02,
1995
Tags #records retention, #valuable documents, #stored, #so much easier, #asks for anything
Transcript
Dilbert approaches a door that is labeled, "Records Retention." In the Records Retention Office, Dilbert hands a pile of documents to the librarian and says, "These valuable documents should be stored for five years." As he throws the documents in the trash bin, the librarian thinks, "This job got so much easier when I realized that nobody ever asks for anything back."
Tuesday February 06,
1996
Tags #proprietary documents, #cubicle, #competitors, #utilize synergy
Transcript
The Boss stands in the door of Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, you've got to lock up these proprietary documents you have in your cubicle." The Boss continues, "If our competitors see our plans, it could be very dangerous." Alice asks, "For us or for them?" The captions reads, "The Competitors." A man reads a document and says, "Ooh! Look! They're planning to 'utilize synergy.' We're in trouble now!" Another man laughs and a woman says, "Stop! You're killing me!!"
Wednesday February 07,
1996
Tags #biggest offices, #file cabinet, #least need, #living monument, #proprietary documents, #stacks full, #storage psace, #efficiency
Transcript
Alice asks the Boss, "Why is it that the people with the least need for storage space have the biggest offices?" Alice stands in the door to the Boss's office and says, "I know! You're using your office as kind of a living monument to inefficiency!" The Boss asks, "Is this because I wouldn't let you get a file cabinet?" Alice asks, "Where would I put it? My cubicle is full of stacks of proprietary documents."