Methodology Comic Strips
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8 Results for Methodology
View 1 - 8 results for methodology comic strips. Discover the best "Methodology" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday February 23,
1996
Tags #software, #under contract, #methodology, #village meetings, #juggle, #elbonians, #slam out code, #go roller skating, #pig, #animals, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert perches on a rock using a laptop. He says to two Elbonians, "Before I accept the software you wrote under contract, tell me what development methodology you use." One Elbonian says, "We hold village meetings to boast of our skills and curse the devil-spawned end-users." The other Elbonian adds, "Sometimes we juggle." The first Elbonian continues, "At the last minute we slam out some code and go roller skating." Dilbert says, "I would find this humorous if not for the pig on my back." A pig clings to Dilbert lovingly.
Wednesday August 24,
2005
Tags #coding, #moron, #standardize new programming, #methodology, #middle of the project, #technology
Transcript
The Boss: How's the coding coming along? Dilbert: "No problem unless..." "...some moron tries to standardize on a new programming methodology in the middle of the project." The Boss: "What if it's me instead of some moron guy?"
Sunday November 30,
2008
Tags #boss, #lazy, #specific, #understand, #quibbled about methodology, #bought crickets, #wait for answer, #borrow crisckets
Transcript
The boss: Uh-oh. I don't understand a word of this. What did other people say about it? Dilbert: A few people quibbles about the methodology. The boss: Right, well, yes, the methodology does have a few issues. Dilbert: Can you be more specific? I brought some crickets to keep me company while I wait for your answer. chirp chirp chirp chirp Alice: I'm up next. Can I borrow the crickets? Dilbert: They're a little tired.
Sunday October 03,
2010
Tags #meeting, #project, #point, #progress, #enhanced assessment methodology, #towel, #shower, #nervous, #soul, #business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "?And of course we'll assess our progress along the way." Coworker says, "Will you be using an enhanced assessment methodology?" Coworker says, "I hope that means something. All I did was string together some words I heard in the hallway." Dilbert says, "Um... I'll be assessing... by measuring... and um..." The Boss says, "I better get in on this." The Boss says, "I can't support this project until I see your advanced assessment methodology plan." Dilbert says, "I'll have it in ten minutes, assuming you don't now what it's supposed to look like." The Boss says, "Very good." Dilbert says, "I'll be in the shower trying to wash my soul."
Monday February 06,
2017
Agile Methodology
Tags #agile, #coding, #engineer, #method, #misunderstanding, #software, #technology, #engineering
Transcript
Boss: We're moving to an agile methodology for software development. I don't know all of the details, but I think one of you has to be designated the scrumbag. Does that sound right? Dilbert: It's better than I expected.
Thursday August 25,
2005
Tags #moving along until, #coding language changed, #methodlogy, #endless stairway, #sea submairne, #mc escher, #morale, #add features
Transcript
Dilbert: The project was moving along well until management changed our coding language and methodology. Dilbert: "Now our timeline is represented by this M.C. Escher print of an endless stairway." "This deep-sea submarine is looking for our morale." The Boss: "Would this be a bad time to add a few features?"
Saturday February 11,
2006
Transcript
"I heard that you're a certified project management zombie. Is that true?" "I'm an assertive and innovative professional, experienced in project and operations management methodology and process development." "He didn't seem dangerous." "I just sat through a three-hour project review meeting."
Thursday February 09,
2017
Faking Their Own Deaths
Tags #managers, #distraction, #subversion, #alias, #espionage, #hiding, #productivity
Transcript
Dilbert: My job as the team scrum for our agile methodology is to remove distractions so you can work. I've created fake identities for each of us, and I'll be spreading the rumor that we all died. Carol: I heard they all died. Boss: Nice try. I will find them!