Micro Management Comic Strips

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346 Results for Micro Management

View 1 - 10 results for micro management comic strips. Discover the best "Micro Management" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ass six meetings, #customer focus, #micro management, #egomaniacal mahifest, #survival, #paper towels, #mens room

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. Reading a report, the Boss says, "Change these dates . . . and add six more meetings and use the phrase 'customer focus.'" Dilbert looks down at the desk where a tiny figure has appeared. Dilbert says, "Uh-Oh . . . your micro-management has caused my ego to manifest itself and beg for survival." The tiny figure says, "I'm shrinking!" The Boss splats the tiny figure with a fly swatter and says to Dilbert, "Run and get me some paper towels . . . five of them . . . from the men's room."

Dilbert Characters

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #less meetings, #less micromangemt, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #more meetings, #more with less, #business

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The Boss says, "We have to learn to do more with less." Dilbert says, "Less meetings?" The Boss says, "No. We'll need more meetings to figure out how to do more with less." Alice says, "Less micro-management?" The Boss says, "No, I'll have to watch you more closely than ever to make sure you're doing mroe with less." The Boss says, "I'm talking about using less money." Alice says, "Oh, like a death spiral. Why didn't you just say that in the first place?" Alice says, "It's as if you're talking more to say less." Dilbert says, "Should we be more like you or less?"

Management Fast Track

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Management Fast Track - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talent, #management, #potential, #frustration

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Boss: Dilbert, our CEO asked me to put you on the management fast track. Dilbert: Why does he hate me so much? Boss: He didn't say, but I have a lot of guesses if you want to hear them.

Groomed For Management

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Groomed For Management - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #back-stabbing, #management, #betrayal, #double cross

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Dilbert: My boss is trying to groom me for management. How can I get out of it? Wally: Tell him that as soon as you are sufficiently groomed you will stab him in the back and take his job. Dilbert: ...and then I'll take your job. Boss: I'm moving you to the advanced management class.

Dogbert's Time Management Book

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Dogbert's Time Management Book - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #time, #management, #time management, #blank

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Dogbert: Would you like to read my book on time management? Dilbert: Yes. These pages are blank. Dogbert: I just saved you three hours.

Management Got Virus

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Management Got Virus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #health, #management, #coronavirus, #quarantined, #work, #wisdom, #idiot, #theme, #face mask, #sarcasm

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catbert: the entire management team has contracted coronavirus and is quarantined. they asked me to tell you to stop working, because without their wisdom, you idiots will ruin everything. any questions? dilbert: no, i think you covered the main themes.

Betting On Management

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Betting On Management - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #covid-19, #business, #technology, #confidence, #management, #infection, #coronavirus, #bet, #stupidity, #income, #betting, #health

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dilbert: does it reduce your confidence in our management that 100% of them got infected with coronavirus. wally: all i know is that i won $300 betting it would happen. dilbert: how often do you bet on their stupidity? wally: often enough to double my income.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #managers & supervisors, #learn from mistakes, #make alits, #wrong this year, #coincidence, #perfromance reviews, #management legends, #business

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The Boss says, "We can learn from our mistakes. Let's make a list of the things that each of you did wrong this year." Dilbert says, "It is just a coincidence that our annual performance reviews are due next week?" The Boss says, "It would have been the stuff of management legends." Catbert says, "Very nice try."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #seven layers of management, #lead company, #unknowingly, #bad idea, #input to avoid, #ceo, #middle management

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CEO: I plant to add seven more layers of management between you and me. My goal is to lead the company without knowing anything about it. Boss: That sounds like a bad idea. CEO: This sort of input is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #proactive, #send email, #bad time management, #creating illuson, #sarcasm, #crazy boss, #business

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The Boss says, "You need to be more proactive." Dilbert says, "I can only appear to be proactive if you stop telling me to do things I've already planned." The Boss says, "How am I supposed to know what you plan to do every minute?" Dilbert says, "I could send you an e-mail every time I have a thought." The Boss says, "I don't have time for that!" Dilbert says, "Apparently your bad time management is creating the illusion that I'm not proactive." Dilbert says, "I'll take the liberty of signing you up for a time management class." The Boss says, "Don't do that!" Dilbert says, "So...I should not be proactive?" The Boss says, "Just do what I want before I know I want it." Dilbert says, "I hope the next thing you want is sarcasm."