Million Per Year Comic Strips
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536 Results for Million Per Year
View 1 - 10 results for million per year comic strips. Discover the best "Million Per Year" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday July 15,
2002
Tags #30 thousand employees, #emails jokes per week, #file bankruptcy, #lost prodcutivity, #ten million, #holding employee responsible
Transcript
Catbert says to Tina, "Tina, our records show that you forward an average of nineteen e-mail jokes per week." Catbert continues, "Each joke goes to 30,000 employees, costing us ten million per year in lost productivity." Catbert concludes, "We plan to blame you when we file for bankruptcy next week." Tina is visibly worried.
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Thursday June 30,
2005
Tags #board meeting, #dipping employees, #varnish, #voted to fire you, #100 million, #1 million year
Transcript
Ratbert the CEO "The board has learned that you've been dipping employees in varnish and using them as office furniture." "We voted to fire you. Your severence package includes $100 million, the corporate jet, perpetual benefits and a salary of $1 million per year." "Bu-ya!" "He's taking it well."
Tuesday October 02,
2012
Tags #engineers, #wages, #hiring engineers, #google, #million per year, #change the world, #average engineer pay, #money
Transcript
Interviewee: Google offered me a million dollars a year. What's your offer? Boss: Work for us and you can change the world! Interviewee: Change it how? Boss: By lowering the average pay of engineers. Hiring engineers
Thursday September 10,
1998
Tags #rather the consultant, #200k per year
Transcript
Caption: Ratbert the Consultant. Ratbert sits at a conference table between a man and a woman. Ratbert says, "I'm making $200,000 per year!" Ratbert whistles. Ratbert says, "Apparently that's all I know." The man and the woman look annoyed.
Monday October 08,
2001
Tags #ceo, #smashed pay, #share the pain, #six million to four, #sandwich bag underwear, #intern is poor
Transcript
The Boss says to Asok and Dilbert, "Our CEO has voluntarily slashed his pay from six million per year to four." The Boss continues, "In a written statement he said he wants to 'share the pain.' The Boss asks, "Do you feel better now?" Asok replies, "I make my own underwear from sandwich bags."
Friday June 24,
2005
Tags #100 million, #dental plan, #not effective, #major corporation
Transcript
Dogbert's Executive Search Firm "How would you like to be the CEO of a major corporation?" "You'd be paid $100 million per year just for showing up." "I'd have to see the dental plan." "He's not very effective during the day."
Saturday November 12,
2005
Tags #board meeting, #outsourcing, #ceo job, #26 million, #elbonian ceo, #good guy, #consulting contract
Transcript
Board Meeting "I recommend outsourcing your CEO's job and saving the company $26 million per year." "For $4 per year you can hire an Elbonian CEO who is just as good as this guy." "Now do you understand why you should have renewed my consulting contract?"
Friday August 08,
2008
Tags #cooked books, #pension fund, #15% per year, #crooks, #optimists, #whistling noise, #soul escaping
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I cooked the books by assuming your pension fund will earn 15% per year." Pension Fund 15% Dogbert says, "Technically you aren't crooks, just optimists." Tweet! Mmph! Tweet! Dogbert says, "If you hear a whistling noise, that would be your soul escaping through your nose."
Monday March 02,
2015
Wally Wears Heels
Tags #height, #money, #salary, #short, #tall, #wages, #clogs, #four inch heels, #income per year, #lump sum, #each heel inch
Transcript
Wally: You might have noticed that I'm wearing clogs with four-inch heels. Studies show that every inch of height is worth $1,000 in income per year. Can I have my $4,000 in a lump sum this year? Boss: I know there is something wrong with this...
Friday January 20,
2012
Tags #prosperity, #saving & investment, #portfolio, #standard industry, #investing, #billion dollars, #index funds, #money
Transcript
Dogbert: I'll manage your portfolio for a standard industry fee of 1% per year. Wally: I'm investing a billion dollars. Your fee would be $10 million per year. Dogbert: Those index funds aren't going to pick themselves.