Mind Reader Comic Strips

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283 Results for Mind Reader

View 1 - 10 results for mind reader comic strips. Discover the best "Mind Reader" comics from Dilbert.com.

Your Real Scheme

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Your Real Scheme - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #office, #business, #scheme, #power, #costs, #mind, #reader, #psychology

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dilbert: and this method will reduce costs by thirty percent. ted: nice try, but i know your real scheme is to grab power. dilbert: you're not a good mind reader ted: and yet i knew you would say i can't read minds, explain that

Mind Reader

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Mind Reader - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #plan, #sabotage, #mind reader, #success, #apology

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dilbert: i don't think your plan will work. employee: pffft. of course you don't. you are trying to sabotage me because you are jealous of my success. dilbert: you read minds as well as you make plans. employee: apology accepted.

Mind Reading

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Mind Reading - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #judge, #ruling, #gavel, #proof, #thoughts, #unfair, #mind, #reading

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court of stupidity judge with gavel: the court rules that dilbert should magically know what his boss wants at all times. dilbert: i'm not a mind-reader! judge: prove it! dilbert: how can i prove i can't read minds? judge: easy. tell me what i'm not thinking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help, #group project, #dependability, #failure, #psychic, #prediction

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Dilbert: I need your feedback on my PowerPoint deck before Tuesday. Man: I'll do that on Monday night. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! It's a trap! You are notoriously undependable. The odds of you working on a Monday night are terrible. If I don't get your input on time, you will make a fool out of me in the meeting. I'll stay up all night Monday hoping to get your email. But that input will never come. I'll end up doing the presentation on no sleep. Then you will embarrass me during the presentation by pointing out the errors in my slides. Man: For a mind reader, you sure have a terrible life.

Mind Reader Coworker

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Mind Reader Coworker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #paranoia, #body language, #assume, #assumption, #conclusions

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Man: Why do you hate the plan so much? Dilbert: I don't hate the plan. I like the plan. Man: No, I can tell by the way you chose your words that you hate it. Now I can tell by your face that you hate me. Dilbert: You're like a blind squirrel who brings his own nuts to the park.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #control computer, #invention, #inventions, #mind, #mobile (cell) phones, #phone, #power, #brain reader, #technology

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Dilbert: My brain reader invention allows me to control any nearby computer. Co-worker: That's nothing! My phone can... Dilbert: I did that with my mind. Co-worker: That's nothing! I made you do it!

Love Me For My Mind

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Love Me For My Mind - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #love, #priorities, #relationships, #vanilla scented lotion, #mind

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Woman: I want a guy who loves me for me, and not for the way I look... or the things I do. Dilbert: That doesn't leave me much to work with. Can I love you for your money and your vanilla-scented body lotion? Woman: You could love me for my mind. Dilbert: That might have worked two minutes ago.

Mind Control

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Mind Control - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #Dogbert, #slump, #sales, #clone, #product, #shoddy, #mind, #control, #legal, #notice

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dogbert: my team of dogbert clones has reversed your slumping sales. your products are still shoddy, but we use mind control to make people not notice. it's all perfectly legal. boss: i wasn't going to ask.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boredom, #despair, #mind numbing tesk, #stop thinking

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Asok: I can't wait to finish this mind-numbing task... so I can start another mind-numbing task. I really need to stop thinking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hats, #inventions, #brainwave reader, #nearest computer thoughts, #blurry image, #video, #beta version, #video quality

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Dilbert: My brainwave reader invention can control the nearest computer with my thoughts. Boss: Why am I seeing a video of a blurry image that looks like you slapping another blurry thing that looks like me? Dilbert: I don't think it's fair to complain about the video quality of the beta version.