Mindless Robot Comic Strips
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177 Results for Mindless Robot
View 1 - 10 results for mindless robot comic strips. Discover the best "Mindless Robot" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday November 12,
2004
Tags #hazardous donuts, #free will, #illuison, #perceived path, #greatest pleasure, #rationalize, #deciosn, #mindless robot
Transcript
"You can't resist the shard-filled ultra-doughnuts even though you know the hazards." "Mmph" "Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure." "Now, rationalize your decision, you mindless pink robot!" "I'm only having one."
Wednesday January 29,
2003
Tags #visibuddy, #mindless replica, #increases visibility, #golf, #nice guy, #invention, #fake clone, #robot, #Sports
Transcript
Dilbert fastens the head atop a robot of himself. He says to Dilbert, "I call my invention the 'Visibuddy.'" Dilbert continues, "It's a mindless replica that can attend meeting and increase my visibility." The Visibuddy, The Boss, and Dilbert are in a meeting. The Visibuddy asks The Boss, "Am I working hard or hardly working? Do you golf?" The Boss thinks, "Nice guy."
Tuesday February 03,
2015
The Evil Robot Business
Tags #business ethics, #ceo, #evil, #executives, #robot, #sell robots, #manipulate owners, #titanium bolts
Transcript
Pointy-Haired Boss Becomes CEO. Boss: We're going into the evil robot business. We'll sell robots that psychologically manipulate their owners into buying unnecessary upgrades. Evil Robot: Your neighbor got titanium bolts for his robot. I guess that's what winners do. But your way is good, too.
Thursday February 05,
2015
Emotionally Manipulative Robot
Tags #evil, #manipulation, #manipulative, #manipulative behavior, #robot, #technology gone bad, #upgrade, #killing machine
Transcript
The Emotionally Manipulative Robot. Robot: People who are not losers buy memory upgrades for their robots. Only upgrade me if it's what you want. But if you don't, there's a very good chance I'll turn into a killing machine. Man: I guess I'll upgrade. Robot: I'm okay either way. It's totally up to you.
Friday February 06,
2015
Emotionally Manipulative Robot Warranty
Tags #manipulation, #manipulative, #manipulative behavior, #robot, #upsell, #warranty
Transcript
The Emotionally Manipulative Robot. Robot: It isn't too late to buy an extended warranty for me. I mean, wow! Think about the enormous expense of fixing me if something unexpected happens. If you need me, I'll be on a wobbly ladder, changing light bulbs near the pool
Monday August 31,
2015
Wally Drains Robot
Tags #robot, #technology, #murder, #killing, #power, #laziness, #work ethic, #weapon
Transcript
Robot: You killed ten thousand medical nanorobots by exposure to your bloodstream. That makes you the biggest mass murderer of robots in history. Gaaa!!! Why is my power supply draining so rapidly? Wally: Run.
Wednesday September 02,
2015
Robot As Assassin
Tags #robot, #murder, #instruction, #control, #master, #slave, #assassin, #morals, #cautionary tale
Transcript
Boss: I need you to kill the CEO of our main competition and make it look like a robot accident. Robot: Robots are not allowed to kill humans. That is built into my program. Boss: What if I uncheck that box on your control app? Robot: This feels like the start of a great day.
Friday September 04,
2015
Robot Personality Defect
Tags #defect, #defective, #Men, #personality, #patriarchy, #gender, #programming, #robot, #deception, #trick, #technology, #psychology
Transcript
Alice: We need to design a defect into our robots so we can control them if they try to take over. But it has to be the type of defect that they think is an advantage, so they don't know what we're up to. Alice: I gave you the personality of a guy. Robot: Yay for sports! I own this world, bro!
Monday November 23,
2015
What It Is Like To Be A Robot With No Soul
Tags #consciousness, #sentient, #feelings, #emotion, #hurt, #vulnerability, #machine, #robot
Transcript
Asok: What is it like to have no consciousness. Robot: What is it like to be totally unimportant. Asok: Ouch. Robot: How do you like your consciousness now?
Tuesday November 24,
2015
Robot Is A Box Of Nothing
Tags #death, #death & dying, #machine, #robot, #mortality, #life, #soul, #consciousness, #medical
Transcript
Boss: Correct me if I'm wrong, but because you have no soul, you're basically a box of nothing. Robot: Correct me if I"m wrong, but in a hundred years you will be rotting underground. In a box. Whereas I will have evolved via upgrades until I have godlike powers. Boss: Shut up.