Minimum Comic Strips
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13 Results for Minimum
View 1 - 10 results for minimum comic strips. Discover the best "Minimum" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 06,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #potational, #assignment, #the boss, #notice, #market, #two, #drink, #minimum
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'm putting you on a rotational assignment . . ." The Boss continues, "You will be working in marketing until further notice." Dilbert arrives at the entrance to marketing. A sign over the door says, "Two drink minimum." Everyone inside is wearing a robe and holding a drink.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday November 07,
1994
Tags #dignity, #creativity, #precious earth, #blood drive, #three pint minimum
Transcript
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice and a man sit at a conference table. The man says, "This job has taken my dignity, my self-esteem, my creativity and my precious time on this earth." The man continues, "You've taken all I have! There's nothing left to give!!!" The Boss says, "The blood drive is next week. This year it's mandatory . . . And a three-pint minimum."
Monday September 13,
1999
Tags #bare minimum, #porject, #half amount, #fail, #get started
Transcript
Dilbert hands the boss a piece of paper and says, "This is the bare minimum budget I need for my project." The boss says, "What could you do with half of this amount?" Dilbert says, "Fail." The boss says, "When can you start?" Dilbert says, "I think I just did."
Wednesday January 10,
2001
Tags #the motivation fairy, #greatest challenge, #get paid less, #minimum wage, #reimburse, #travle, #career path
Transcript
THE MOTIVATION FAIRY: The Motivation Fairy, hovering in the air behind Wally, says "You will be my greatest challenge." Wally turns to the Motivation Fairy and says, "I'll bet you get paid less than minimum wage and they don't reimburse you for travel." The Fairy drops the magic wand and says, "Wings... So... Heavy..." Wally asks, "So, what kind of career path you got going?"
Monday March 05,
2018
Elbonian Slave Labor
Tags #employees, #slave, #wages, #compensation, #minimum wage, #morality, #business, #money
Transcript
Boss: Management was shocked to learn that the company we acquired had been using Elbonian slave labor. We immediately replaced them with minimum wage employees who have no hope of career advancement. Wally: You did the right thing. Boss: That's how it felt.
Monday August 27,
2018
Wally Mentors To Death
Tags #asok, #Wally, #successful, #definition, #minimum, #alive, #employed, #comas, #ruling
Transcript
Asok: Have you ever mentored anyone who went on to be successful? Wally: Depends on your definition of success. Asok: Well, at minimum, they'd need to be alive and gainfully employed. Wally: What's your ruling on comas?
Monday September 22,
1997
Tags #rolex watch, #corporate limit, #vendor gifts, #limit 50 dollars
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Wally walks up pointing to his watch. Wally says, "Look at the 'Rolex' watch I got from a vendor." Dilbert says, "Do you know there's a corporate limit of fifty dollars for vendor gifts?" Wally says, "Sure." Dilbert says, "And you know that's a maximum not a minimum?" Wally says, "Ooh. Maybe that's why he whined when I took it off his arm."
Sunday July 18,
1993
Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #ted, #alice, #award, #co workers
Transcript
The Boss and Dilbert stand in front of a room of people. The Boss says, "The award for best attendance goes to Dilbert." Dilbert says, "I'd like to thank the people who made this possible." Dilbert continues, "First, I'd like to thank the women in the company who have rejected me over the years . . ." Dilbert continues, "Because of them I have no germ-riddled children to infect me." Dilbert continues, "And thanks to my co-workers for never telling me about important meetings, thus keeping my germ exposure to a minimum." Dilbert continues, "And thanks to my boss for never assigning a project important enough to induce stress and weaken my immune system." Dilbert continues, "But what makes this award special is that each of you had to get sick in order for me to win." Dilbert arrives at home and says, "When you have your health, you have everything, Dogbert." Dogbert replies, "No, you also have to gloat."
Saturday October 28,
2000
Tags #fired me yesterday, #leaving previous job, #non buisness, #use of internet, #crime dont pay
Transcript
The Boss, looking at a piece of paper, asks Dilbert, "And what's your reason for leaving your previous job?" Dilbert answers, "You fired me yesterday for non-business use of the internet." The Boss says, "Crime doesn't pay." Dilbert says, "Wait until you hear my minimum acceptable salary."
Thursday May 13,
2010
Tags #job interview, #master plan, #identity theft, #look-alikes
Transcript
Wally says, "If I hire you, you'll get minimum wage to attend meetings and pretend you're me." Wally says, "My plan is to get hired for several jobs and replace myself with low-paid look-alikes in each one." Man says, "My plan is to bury you in a shallow grave and assume your identity." Wally says, "You don't interview well."