Money Bags Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

624 Results for Money Bags

View 1 - 10 results for money bags comic strips. Discover the best "Money Bags" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #strategic, #diversification, #fund, #lawyers, #money, #bags, #Dogs, #bury

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and the financial advisor sit at the table. The advisor says as Dilbert reads a brochure, "That's our new 'Strategic Diversification Fund.'" The man continues, "Our lawyers put your money in little bags, then we have trained dogs bury them around town." Dilbert asks, "Do they bury the bags or the lawyers?" The advisor replies, "We've tried it both ways."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #baby, #falls, #game, #management fast track, #money, #money bags, #punch wessel, #rescuing plastic baby, #test, #weasel, #greed, #failed test

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Your first test on the management fast track involves rescuing a plastic baby and a bag of money from a weasel. You must punch the weasel then catch the money and the baby before they reach the ground. I found our next CEO. Wally: Wait...say this instructions again.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #industrial, #spy, #rumor, #xypon, #newspaper, #secret, #agent, #the boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from the Boss and says, "My code name is Dogbert. I'm an industrial spy." The Boss asks, "What makes you think my company needs your services?" Dogbert replies, "It's pretty obvious that you won't survive on your wits alone." Dogbert continues, "There's a rumor that Xypon Inc. is developing a tactical nuclear weapon to use against you." The Boss asks, "What exactly will you do for us?" Dogbert answers, "You give me fifty thousand dollars, then I disappear for a month and do secret spy things." Dogbert continues, "I'll return with information that only a spy or a regular newspaper reader could know." A man at Xypon Inc. asks, "How good are they, Dogbert?" Dogbert pulls a wagon full of money bags. He answers, "They're a bit gullible."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #crew, #investigate, #television, #healing, #scam, #money, #interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk counting bags of money and humming. Dilbert says, "A news crew is here to investigate your television healing scam." Dogbert sits in a chair across from a reporter and a tv camera. The reporter says, "Explain to our 40 million viewers where the money actually goes." Dogbert replies, "Send those checks to Dogbert, post office box . . ." The reporter thinks, "Maybe I phrased that wrong."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stepping down, #ceo, #money stolen, #hellhole, #huge bag of cash, #helicopter, #writes book, #buy book

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I am stepping down as CEO so I can spend more time with this money I stole from this hellhole." Dogbert says, "I need you and you to carry huge bags of cash to my helicopter." Wally says, "The worst part is that if he ever writes a book, I'll probably buy it."

Takes Money To Make Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Takes Money To Make Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asking questions, #faith, #idiom, #idioms, #money, #questioning, #sayings

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It takes money to make money. Dilbert: Then... where did the first money come from? Boss: God? Dilbert: Don't let him hear doubt in your voice.

Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rich people, #money, #stock market, #investments, #out of touch, #obliviousness, #stratification

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Hey, our stock is up two percent. I just made more money than you'll earn in your entire life. Remind me, do I leave you a tip?

Money Can't Buy Happiness

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Money Can't Buy Happiness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happiness, #work, #motivation, #meaning, #money, #raise, #wages, #excuses, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I want a raise. Boss: Money can't buy happiness. Dilbert: Then why do people work? Boss: To avoid unhappiness. Dilbert: What's my best-case scenario here? Boss: I'll motivate you toward a neutral, zombie-like existence.

Employees Who Don't Want Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employees Who Don't Want Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #money, #optimism, #ambition

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I don't want employees who are motivated by money. I want true believers who are trying to make the world a better place. Wally: Those people sound crazy. Dilbert: Can you warn us if you see one?

Spending The Company's Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Spending The Company's Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #price, #high, #ted, #company, #money, #live, #die, #minute, #sense

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This price is too high. Ted: Why do you care? You're spending the company's money, not your own. And the company doesn't care if you live or die. Dilbert: Give me a minutes to think of why that doesn't make sense. Ted: Take as long as you need.