Mordac: Ted, the I.S. group monitors every website you visit. Based on that information, we came up with a list of nicknames for you. My job got a lot more fun after we stopped doing the client satisfaction surveys. Mordac
Alice: You let Dilbert have two flat screen monitors in his cubicle.
Alice: I'm not the least bit envious, but I should point out that a worker with two monitors should be able to do twice as much work.
Alice: Did you know there are some advantages to having only one monitor?
Dilbert says, "In the land of cubicles, the man with two monitors is king." Dilbert says, "I pity my uni-monitored subjects, but I cannot respect them." Meanwhile, in another corner of the kingdom? Alice says, "The king is dead. Long live the queen."
Dilbert: "My pay is below market. Can I have a 20% raise?"
The Boss: "No, but I'll let you use two flat screen monitors in your cubicle so it feels like you're an evil genius in a secret lair."
"Bu-Wa-HAHA!"
Wally: "Who got a second monitor?"
Boss: This hat monitors your brain waves and warns you if you are going to fall asleep. We think it will prevent accidents. Dilbert: Is that all it does? Boss: For now. Robot: Welcome to the club.
Boss: Our new product is a watch that monitors every aspect of your health. Wearing the watch is mandatory for all employees. Your data will automatically stream to our cloud storage. Voice: Because you care about our health? Boss: Sure. We'll go with that.
Asok the Intern says to Mordac, "Um... Mordac, my new PC arrived without a monitor." Mordac says to Asok, "Bah! Only interns with weak memories need monitors!" Asok says, "Please. I am having enough difficulty memorizing my calendar." Mordac asks, "Did you want any cheese with that whine?"
Tina: "Why does Dilbert get two computer monitors while I only get one?"
The Boss: "Well, according to researchers, it's because men tend to negotiate and women don't."
Tina: "So, what happens now?"
The Boss: "If I had to guess, I'd say more complaining."
