Search Results for "mop-up crew"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 10

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #mop-up crew, #shave, #sixty, #percent, #public, #services

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in an empty room wearing only his underwear. He tells Dogbert, "I always get a warm, satisfied feeling right after paying my taxes." Dilbert continues, "Sure, it's a sacrifice . . . But my money goes to support vital public services." Someone knocks on the door. Dilbert opens the door and two men in trenchcoats enter. One man says, "We're the IRS mop-up crew." The man continues, "We came to take your socks and shave sixty percent of your dog." The other man holds an electric razor. One agent shaves Dogbert while the other pulls off Dilbert's socks. Dilbert says, "Remind me to adjust my withholdings for next year."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #crew, #investigate, #television, #healing, #scam, #money, #interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk counting bags of money and humming. Dilbert says, "A news crew is here to investigate your television healing scam." Dogbert sits in a chair across from a reporter and a tv camera. The reporter says, "Explain to our 40 million viewers where the money actually goes." Dogbert replies, "Send those checks to Dogbert, post office box . . ." The reporter thinks, "Maybe I phrased that wrong."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2010's comic on:

Tags #cleaning, #janitor, #crime scene, #overalls, #assistant, #feet in air, #dead body, #mop, #duct tape

View Transcript

Transcript

Crime Scene Cleaning Dilbert says, "There's no budget for a mop or cleaning supplies." Dilbert says, "All I have is this pole and you." Ratbert says, "You could duct tape me to the pole." Dilbert says, "Yup. If we had duct tape."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2007's comic on:

Tags #security consulatant, #without id, #badge, #strip search, #confiscate wallet, #lock him janitors closet, #extreme, #living on mop water

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the security consultant Dogbert: "If you see someone without an ID badge..." "...Strip search him, confiscate his wallet, and lock him in the janitor's closet until he starves!" The boss: "That seems a bit extreme." Dogbert: "You're about one minute away from living on mop water."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #trick, #dust, #mother, #teach, #grey, #fox, #brownie, #recipe

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on his pillow. Dilbert enters the room holding a dust mop. He tells Dogbert, "I'm going to dust." Dogbert's ears fly up. Dogbert runs out of the room. Dilbert dusts a table. Dilbert dusts a lamp. Clouds of dust begin to rise. Dilbert dusts a picture and the dust clouds get bigger. A cloud of dust fills the room. Dilbert thinks, "I'm starting to think there's a trick to this." Dilbert sits in his chair covered with dirt. Dogbert asks, "Did your mother teach you to dust that way?" Dilbert replies, "We didn't call her the 'Grey Fox' because of her clever brownie recipe."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #juan, #hr

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock holding a stack of documents. Dogbert says, "I'm building a permanent file of all the stupid things you say." Dilbert replies, "At least it's only a few pages long." Dogbert says, "This is just the table of contents." Dogbert continues, "The full database will be compressed on CD ROMS." Dogbert points to a man and says, "I hired Juan and his crew to design the system and type in the data." Juan says, "We're working overtime." Juan continues, "The new computer center is done . . . We had to level the neighbor's garage." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "By any chance, are you still upset that I asked you to fetch my slippers?" Dogbert asks Juan, "Did you get that one?" Juan writes on his clipboard and replies, "I'll need to hire more people."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2000's comic on:

Tags #files, #hid files, #skeleton, #babe, #home wrecker

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok peers into a closet with lots of janitorial supplies and in the middle of which is a tall stack of files. He thinks: "I have found where Ted hid his files before he quit." Inside the closet he also finds a skeleton. He thinks: "A skeleton! I know what I must do." Asok is in his cubicle. He has placed the skeleton, who is now wearing the threads of a mop as a hairpeice, in a chair next to him. Asok is busy with his computer. Wally asks Asok: "Who's the babe?" Asok warns Wally: "Stay away homewrecker."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2003's comic on:

Tags #grabbed by hand, #my sales meeting, #dressed like god, #huge hand, #guy, #thought it would be funny, #hee hee

View Transcript

Transcript

The plane is shown being grabbed by a giant hand. A flight crew member announces, "Folks, please stay in your seats. We've been grabbed by a huge hand." The woman next to Dilbert looks terrified. Dilbert says, "I hope this has nothing to do with how I dressed for my sales meeting at the Vatican." Ratbert is watching television at home. A voice from the television says, "But it turned out to be a guy with a huge hand who said he 'thought it would be funny.'" Ratbert laughs, "Hee hee! Huge hand."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2009's comic on:

Tags #reading, #e-mail, #money, #broke, #budget cuts, #cleaning, #toilet

View Transcript

Transcript

To all staff: We had to let our cleaning crew go for budget reasons. In a separate e-mail, I will explain our new 'Adopt a toilet' program. Dilbert says, "I have to be honest, Timmy. I don't see college in your future."

Boss Doesn't See Email

Thank you for voting.
Boss Doesn't See Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2016's comic on:

Tags #space, #astronaut, #engineering, #laziness, #bureaucracy, #accident

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The crew of our first spaceship suffocated on the launchpad. Apparently, I got an email last week asking for approval to repair the oxygen generator. Carol: You killed them with your incompetence? Boss: I can't take all the credit. It was a team effort.