Moral Issues Comic Strips
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105 Results for Moral Issues
View 1 - 10 results for moral issues comic strips. Discover the best "Moral Issues" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 23,
1999
Tags #moral issues, #summarize, #appropriate categoires, #managers incompetent, #arrogant, #micromanaging, #msiogynists, #time of month
Transcript
Alice and the boss sit at a table. The boss has a lap top in front of him and says, "Tell me what moral issues you have. I'll summarize them under the appropiate categories." Alice says, "My managers are incompetent, arrogant, micro-managing misogynists." The boss says, "That's one under "time of the month."
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Tuesday February 13,
2018
Anger Issues
Tags #anger issues, #listen to crazy people, #mental problems, #work weekend, #crazy people
Transcript
The Boss: Im worried that all of my employees might have mental problems. The Boss: They exhibited anger issues when I told them to work all weekend for no extra pay. CatBert: Did they say you're the cause off their mental problems? The Boss: I dont listen to crazy people.
Sunday March 27,
2011
Tags #engineering issues, #enginner, #not a linquist, #vague requests, #faith in humanity
Transcript
Woman says, "Wally, can you review this for any engineering issues?" Wally says, "What issues do you think it has?" Woman says, "I don't know. I'm not an engineer." Wally says, "Your request is too vague. You need to tell me what issues I'm looking for!" Woman says, "Did you just ask me to do what I just asked you to do?" Wally says, "I don't know. I'm an engineer, not a linguist." Woman says, "I've suddenly lost all faith in humanity!" Wally says, "On the plus side, you found an issue."
Thursday November 24,
2011
Tags #commerce, #service business, #unmotivated sales guy, #slides are blank, #compelling reason, #no commission work, #budget issues
Transcript
Unmotivated sales guy Man: My slides are blank because no one told me what our product does. And I don't have a compelling reason to find out because I don't work on commission. If anyone asks why you didn't place an order, would you mind saying you have budget issues?
Thursday December 29,
2011
Tags #conversation, #employees, #executives, #on line class, #develop charisma, #change the world, #die from stree, #health issues, #business
Transcript
Boss: I'm taking an online class to develop my charisma. Dilbert: Let's see a sample. Boss: Do what I say and you can change the world while you die from stress-related health issues! That felt right. Dilbert: You nailed it.
Saturday February 11,
2012
Tags #arrogant, #awesomeness, #deep undertsnding, #meetings, #moral obligation, #no kill switch, #reports, #tecnology, #tone down
Transcript
Boss: I'm getting reports that you're being arrogant in meetings. Dilbert: That's because I have a deep understanding of technology and a moral obligation to keep simpletons from ruining the world. Boss: Maybe you could tone it down. Dilbert: There's no kill switch on awesome.
Wednesday May 31,
1989
Tags #computer, #park, #chemicals, #create, #issues, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk and says, "Wow! According to my computer simulation, it should be possible to create new life forms from common household chemicals!" Dogbert says, "This raises some thorny issues." Dilbert asks, "You mean legal, ethical and religious issues?" Dogbert replies, "I was thinking about parking spaces."
Tuesday November 01,
1994
Tags #product development process, #buy in, #managers, #happy if dead, #executive oversight, #issues, #blind, #looked at bulb
Transcript
The Boss points to a diagram and says, "Problem: our product development process requires buy-in from managers who'd be happier if we all died." As he puts a new transparency on the overhead projector, the Boss says, "My solution is to create executive oversight groups who don't understand the issues and don't have time to meet." Wally and Dilbert watch as the Boss looks into the light and yells, "I'm . . . I'm blind!" Dilbert says, "You looked directly at the bulb again."
Friday December 08,
1995
Tags #critical system, #all the power, #essential upgardes, #simple fool, #next emplyee, #vendor issues, #compatibility
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk and says to Wally, "It's funny - before your company bought that critical system from me, YOU had all the power . . ." Dogbert yells, "But now, only I can provide essential upgrades!! I call the shots, you simple fool!!" Dogbert says, "Send in the next employee." Outside the cubicle Dilbert and another employee are standing in line holding numbers. The man says, "At least we don't have any multi-vendor compatibility issues."
Thursday October 10,
1996
Tags #coprotae cultures, #strategic allance, #issues, #beta code, #internet, #empowerment, #press release, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of an overhead projector discussing "Strategic Alliance Issues." Dilbert says, "Issue one: Our two companies have very different corporate cultures." A man with a goatee sits at the conference table working on a laptop. A woman with spiked hair sits next to him. The man says, "While you were droning I slammed out some beta code and put it on the Internet for comments." Dilbert says, "My company prefers to have that kind of decision made by uninformed executives. We call it 'empowerment.'" The man replies, "I'll mention that in the press release."