Search Results for "morale aspect"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2004's comic on:


Tags #too many managers, #aspect manager, #corproaret objective, #morale aspect, #bad coice, #dread

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: "We have too many managers, so I'm making you an aspect manager." "You'll be in charge of one aspect of a corporate objective." The Boss: "Please just fire me." CEO: "Your aspect will be morale."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #aspect manager, #morale, #effective, #genius, #change of leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I've been named the aspect manager of moral. Effective today, you no longer report to me." Yippeeee! Woo hooo! Yes! CEO: "How did you improve the morale so quickly?" The Boss: "I'm a genius?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2011's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #business ethics, #boost morale, #pretending to be intereted, #overkill, #unemployement, #brain, #fallout, #yawn hole

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm here to boost your morale by pretending to be interested in you as a human being. But it's probably overkill since unemployment is around 9% and you're not likely to quit. Dilbert: Still, it's nice to... Boss: That's enough! I don't want my brain to fall out of my yawn hole.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #morale, #building, #experiment, #slap, #fly swatter, #feel, #better

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss stands behind him holding a fly swatter. The Boss says, "Hold still. I'm going to try a morale-building experiment." The Boss slaps Dilbert on the back of his head. The Boss walks away saying, "Thanks. I feel a lot better." Dilbert looks angry.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 1992's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #unimportant, #requires, #action, #route, #subordinate, #inflating, #perceived, #importance, #destroying, #morale, #productivity, #luck, #copies

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk looking through a stack of documents and thinking, "Here's something else that's totally unimportant yet requires action." The Boss thinks, "I'll route it to a subordinate, thus inflating its perceived importance and destroying both morale and productivity." The Boss thinks, "What luck, I got two copies!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #approved underwear list, #blue jeans, #forbidden clothes, #morale, #new casual dress code, #shorts, #tanktops

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I thought it necessary to provide detailed guidelines to our new casual dress code." "Forbidden clothing includes: shorts, tank tops, tee shirts, shirts with slogans, blue jeans, sneakers and sandals." Dilbert: "My morale is soaring." The Boss: "Appendix 'A' is the approved underwear list."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1994's comic on:


Tags #baywatch, #morale is low, #talk of mutiny, #project staus report, #death to boss, #pointy haired one

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Here's my daily project status report. Morale is low. There is talk of mutiny. we dream of quitting and becoming lifeguards on "Baywatch" Death to the pointy haired one. The Boss: Holy Cow! "Baywatch' is hiring??!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 1994's comic on:


Tags #Cartoon, #cartoon on back, #hurts morale, #joke, #management decions, #take it down, #improvement

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: This cartoon seems to be saying that management decisions are a joke. Cartoons are not allowed on cubicles. It hurst morale, I don't want to see this when I return. The Boss: Ive noticed a real improvement in morale since you removed the cartoon.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1994's comic on:


Tags #effects pay, #employee survey, #grumpiest employee, #morale, #touchy feely stuff

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to an employee, "The employee surveys indicate some dissatisfaction in my group. That affects my pay." The Boss continues as the man frowns, "You're my grumpiest employee, so I'm going to fire you to bring up my average score for morale." The Boss walks away thinking, "I think I'm getting better at all the touchy-feely stuff."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 1996's comic on:


Tags #demo, #ne wpordcut, #vp next week, #delay, #ship date, #lower morale, #create unending demand, #unproductive demos, #doing valuable work, #quality, #banner

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Could you do a demo of the new product for our VP next week?" Dilbert says, "Well . . . That would delay the ship date, lower morale and create an unending demand for more unproductive demos . . ." Dilbert continues, "Logically, since your objective is to show that we're doing valuable work . . ." The Boss interrupts, "And we'll need a banner that says 'Quality.'"