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970 Results for More Assignments
View 1 - 10 results for more assignments comic strips. Discover the best "More Assignments" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 29,
1999
Tags #juan delegator, #requires deciosn, #work on, #more assignments, #learned lesson, #give work to alice
Transcript
Caption: "Juan Delegator" The Boss carries a large pile of paper. Juan hands him another piece and says, "..And this also requires your decision before I can work on it." Juan says, "Do you have any more assignments for me that I can turn into work for you?" The boss says, "No." Juan says, "And have you learned your lesson?" The boss says, "Yes: Give all work to Alice."
Thursday January 13,
2000
Tags #didn't listen, #good work, #magazine, #more assignments, #new boss, #boss, #secretary
Transcript
Carol hands a sheet of paper to Alice who is at her computer and says: "When you finish this, I have more assignments for you." Alice says to Carol: "Carol, you're the boss's secretary, not my boss. And this is a page from a magazine." Carol says to Alice: "Keep up the good work." Alice answers surprised: "You didn't listen. That can only mean you're the new boss."
Saturday January 19,
2013
Tags #cruelty, #exhaustion / tiredness, #workload, #emailed assignments, #extreme managing, #killing employees
Transcript
Alice: We need to talk about my workload. Boss: Okay. I just emailed you two more assignments that I need finished by tomorrow. Alice: You are literally killing me. Boss: I call it extreme managing.
Saturday March 23,
1996
Tags #special chromosome, #assignments, #waste of time, #sweet smell, #men more perceptive
Transcript
Alice walks away from Dilbert's cubicle and says, "I don't believe men have a special chromosome to tell them which assignments are a waste of time." Dilbert leans out of his cubicle and says, "We do." Alice approaches Asok and thinks, "I will test the theory on young Asok the intern." Asok looks at the documents Alice is holding and says, "Mmm . . . The sweet smell of unnecessary work." Alice thinks, "Maybe men are more perceptive than you'd think." Asok thinks, "She's aroused. I'll make my move."
Monday November 26,
2012
Tags #happiness, #work ethic, #busy work, #cheerful, #form of insanity, #worthless assignments, #professional help, #psychology
Transcript
Asok: I completed the busywork you assigned to me and I'm still cheerful! I don't know how I do it. I really don't. I assume it's a form of insanity. Do you have more worthless assignments I could do before I seek professional help? Boss: Yup.
Thursday March 31,
2011
Tags #created cold fusion, #jar with light bulb, #more news, #camera guy
Transcript
Press Conference Dogbert says, "As you can clearly see, I have created cold fusion." Man says, "That's not cold fusion. It's just a jar with a lightbulb." Dogbert says, "Here's some more news: No one cares what the camera guy thinks." Woman says, "It's free energy!"
Saturday April 09,
2011
Tags #inventions, #managers & supervisors, #portal, #parallel uiverse, #more prodcutive, #universe, #cops, #alice killed boss, #business
Transcript
Asok says, "I created a portal to a parallel universe. My success was possible because Alice killed our boss so we are all more productive." Alice says, "Step aside. The cops have been sniffing around and I need something from the other universe." Alice says, "Look on the bright side, Asok. Some other universe just got a lot more productive."
Friday January 28,
2011
Tags #act nervous, #air travel, #airport security, #guards, #more invasive, #new pat down, #procedures, #situations, #sleeper cell, #terrorits, #tsa, #molestation
Transcript
Airport Security Man says, "Step over here, sleeper cell." Man says, "Our new pat down procedures might be more invasive than you're used to." Man says, "Only terrorists act nervous in these situations." Airport Security
Tuesday May 31,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #office buildings, #open workspace, #environemnt, #crying baby spunds, #more distractions
Transcript
Boss: The company is considering moving from cubicles to an open workspace environment. Dilbert: Great idea. Can we add some crying babies and the sound of water dripping? Boss: You're being stupid. Dilbert: Maybe I'll be smarter when I have more distractions.
Tuesday July 05,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #apathy, #choosing, #comments, #two alternatives, #recommended option, #more expensive
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you read my comments on the two alternatives? Boss: No. Dilbert: I recommended option two because neither plan will work but option one is way more expensive. Boss: I already approved option one. Dilbert: If you need any more help, just let me know.