Search Results for "more funding"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 917

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 1996's comic on:

Tags #accordingly, #decrease details, #greetings, #increase lies, #more funding, #need more funding, #variety super powers, #senior vice president

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our senior vice president will be dropping in today." The Boss holds up a chart showing "lies" and "boss level." He says, "Remember to increase your lies accordingly." The Boss holds up a chart showing "details" and "boss level." He says, "And decrease the details you provide." The Boss continues, "If I think you're being too informative, I'll signal by fidgeting." The Boss continues, "Just say everything is fine, but we need more funding. Here he comes." The senior VP stands in the doorway and says, "Sorry I'm late. How is everyone?" Wally replies, "I'm not saying." Dilbert replies, "I'm fine, but I need more funding." Alice replies, "I have a wide variety of super powers." The senior VP thinks, "I feel a sudden, urgent need to unload my stock options." The Boss waves his arms and thinks, "Fidget fidget."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 1999's comic on:

Tags #venture capitalists, #cool ponytail, #squandered, #investment, #no more funding, #mutter words, #e commerce, #gurgle, #swoon

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Venture capitalists" Two venture capitalists sit at a conference table. One of the venture capitalists says, "Despite your cool ponytail, you seem to have squandered our investment." One of the venture capitalists says, "You'll get nor more funding unless you mutter empty internet words that make us swoon!" Wally says, "E-commerce." Both venture capitalists fall out of their chairs,

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 29, 2004's comic on:

Tags #boss's boss, #misinformed, #mismanaged, #oss confused, #poorly managed, #dont communicate

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: "Gaaa! Our boss's is coming!" Dilbert: "Where?" Zoop "Uh oh." "Hello, head count." Dilbert: "I need to run, tons of work." "Why? Are you poorly managed?" Dilbert: "No, we have everything we need! Everything is perfect." "So... was your boss confused, lying or misinformed when he asked me for more funding for your budget?" Dilbert: "Noooo! Ignore me! I don't know anything." "Hmm." "Dilbert says you don't communicate with the staff and don't need money." Dilbert: "Phew! I'm glad that's over."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2001's comic on:

Tags #give decion, #more information, #study, #get information, #business case, #justify funding, #relief, #other deadlines, #laser like focus, #customer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks into The Boss' office and says, "You need to give me a decision." The Boss replies, "You need to give me more information." Dilbert replies, "You need to give me funding to do a study to get the information." The Boss replies, "You need to give me a business case to justify the spending." Dilbert replies, "You need to give me relief from my other deadlines so I can work on the funding request." The Boss replies, "You need to give me everything to infinity." At that, The Boss jumps up from his chair and screams, "I WIN! YES!" Dilbert says to Wally, "We might be losing our laser-like focus on the customer." Wally responds, "On the who?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2003's comic on:

Tags #funding, #continuous harping, #expensive consultant, #analyze budget, #chaos, #complexity, #simulations

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "In response to your continuous harping about not having enough funding.." The Boss is joined by another man. The Boss continues, "I hired an expensive consultant to analyze your budget." The consultant says to Dilbert, "I'll have to run some chaos and complexity simulations, but it looks as if you need more money."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2005's comic on:

Tags #venture capitalist, #most desparate, #vc business, #idea worth funding, #crooked teeth

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm Vijay, the world's most desperate venture capitalist." "The VC business is more competitive than ever. I'm going to stalk you until you come up with an idea worth funding." "No pressure, but all of my kids have crooked teeth."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2007's comic on:

Tags #funding terrorists, #indirectly, #bed kind, #rebels, #brainwashed, #compnay, #money, #iran, #power point

View Transcript

Transcript

dogcart: I heard your company is funding terrorists. Dilbert: "Very indirectly." "And they aren't the bad kind of terrorists. They're more like rebels who sometimes do terrorist things." Dogbert: "How did they brainwash you so fast?" Dilbert: "Iran supplied them with PowerPoint."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2014's comic on:

Tags #executives, #obliviousness, #act like start up, #ask for funding, #hacker

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We need to act more like a start-up. Dilbert: You mean we can ask for funding for one thing and then pivot six times and build something entirely different? CEO: Is there a version where we don't do any of that and I can still call myself a hacker?

Be Creative With Funding

Thank you for voting.
Be Creative With Funding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2017's comic on:

Tags #budget, #creativity, #funding, #money, #progress, #trick

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I couldn't do any work this week because you forgot to ask for funding for my project. Boss: Stop making excuses. Be creative. Ted: Why do you want to know my project charge code? Dilbert: Just curious.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2011's comic on:

Tags #created cold fusion, #jar with light bulb, #more news, #camera guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Press Conference Dogbert says, "As you can clearly see, I have created cold fusion." Man says, "That's not cold fusion. It's just a jar with a lightbulb." Dogbert says, "Here's some more news: No one cares what the camera guy thinks." Woman says, "It's free energy!"