Most Absurd Activity Comic Strips

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273 Results for Most Absurd Activity

View 1 - 10 results for most absurd activity comic strips. Discover the best "Most Absurd Activity" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 1997's comic on:


Tags #most absurd activity, #timecard, #no project code, #staring at wall, #fretting, #reorganization, #training, #their or liar

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Dilbert sits at his desk and thinks, "And now for the most absurd activity of the week: the timecard." Dilbert thinks, "There's no project code for 'staring at the wall and fretting about the reorganization.' I'll call it 'training.'" Dilbert hands the timecard to Carol and says, "Before I worked here I wasn't a thief or a liar." Carol replies, "You can't get that kind of training in school."

Absurd Absolute

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 Absurd Absolute - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2018's comic on:


Tags #software upgrade, #idiot, #absurd absolute, #admit when wrong, #eaten unicorn

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You're an idiot if you think the software upgrade will solve every one of our problems. Dilbert: Or are you an idiot for characterizing my reasonable idea as an absurd absolute? Why cant you admit when you're wrong? Dilbert: Same reason you've never eaten a unicorn.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #embarrassment, #printmaking, #printer prowler, #spots activity, #minions

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Boss: The printer prowler spots activity. It's time to see what the minions are working on. They're on to me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2012's comic on:


Tags #absurd, #assumptions, #forecast, #meetings, #revenue forecst

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Coworker: And my revenue forecast says... Dilbert: Did you make any assumptions? Coworker: I made a lot of them. Dilbert: Then we don't believe your forecast. Coworker: Can I tell you about it anyway? Dilbert: Do whatever makes you feel less absurd.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2012's comic on:


Tags #retail business, #sales drop, #retail stores, #self checkout, #dumb customers, #most shoplifted

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Finance Troll: Our sales have dropped to zero in retail stores that have self-checkout. Apparently the people who are dumb enough to want our product are too dumb to know how to use the self-checkout. On a positive note, we have the most shoplifted product of the year. Boss: Yes!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #high school, #yearbook, #ages, #mike, #voted, #succeed, #most, #beautiful, #potato, #resembles, #himself

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I haven't looked at my high school yearbook in ages." Dilbert sits on the floor and leans against the hassock. Dilbert says, "There's Mike - voted Most Likely to Succeed . . . And Lucy - voted Most Beautiful . . ." Dogbert looks over Dilbert's shoulder and asks, "Where are you?" Dilbert replies, "Dilbert - 'Most Likely to Find a Potato That Resembles Himself.'" Dogbert asks, "Who hasn't?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #afraid, #the boss, #decade, #natural, #body, #rhythms, #employees, #reach, #mental, #low, #best, #avoid, #activity

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Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I'm afraid your company is being hit by an El Nino Circadian trough." Dogbert continues, "Once a decade, the natural body rhythms of all the employees reach their mental low point at the same time." Dogbert continues, "It's best to avoid any form of mental activity." The Boss yells, "Staff meeting!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 1994's comic on:


Tags #organization chart, #management, #bottom, #most important employees, #payed least, #upside down chart

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The Boss: We've redesigned the organization chart to show management at the BOTTOM supporting our most important employees! Dilbert: Question: why do the most important employees get payed the least? The Boss; Because they would never think of ideas like this upside- down chart concept.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 1994's comic on:


Tags #most talented, #technical professional, #Dogbert, #professional head hunter

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"Hello, this is Dogbert's professional headhunting service." "I find jobs for the most talented technical professionals. Several people mentioned your name." "So, is it true they'll be looking for somebody to fill your job soon? Hello?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 1995's comic on:


Tags #most user freindly, #computer, #pre insatlled, #software, #one button, #leaves factory, #over my head, #tech support number, #technology, #engineering

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Dilbert is in a computer retail store. The salesman points to a computer and explains, ". . . but by far, this computer is our most user-friendly." The salesman continues, "The pre-installed software has only one button. And we press it before it leaves the factory." Dilbert asks, "What does it do?" The salesman waves his hands and says, "Whoa! I'm in over my head. Let me give you their tech support number."