Most Profit Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

269 Results for Most Profit

View 1 - 10 results for most profit comic strips. Discover the best "Most Profit" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clear strategy, #most profit, #do more, #less clear, #illegal

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We need a clear strategy. Does anyone have a suggestion?" Dilbert says, "Let's figure out what makes us the most profit, and then do more of it." The Boss responds, "It needs to be less clear than that." Wally asks, "Can it be illegal?"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #taxes, #sociopth, #victimless crime, #insider information, #hedge fund, #split profit, #tax people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: The great thing about being a sociopath is that everything feels like a victimless crime. If you give me some insider information for my hedge fund, I'll split the profit with you. Think of it as a tax on people you don't know. CEO: That's the best kind!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #retail business, #sales drop, #retail stores, #self checkout, #dumb customers, #most shoplifted

View Transcript

Transcript

Finance Troll: Our sales have dropped to zero in retail stores that have self-checkout. Apparently the people who are dumb enough to want our product are too dumb to know how to use the self-checkout. On a positive note, we have the most shoplifted product of the year. Boss: Yes!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #high school, #yearbook, #ages, #mike, #voted, #succeed, #most, #beautiful, #potato, #resembles, #himself

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I haven't looked at my high school yearbook in ages." Dilbert sits on the floor and leans against the hassock. Dilbert says, "There's Mike - voted Most Likely to Succeed . . . And Lucy - voted Most Beautiful . . ." Dogbert looks over Dilbert's shoulder and asks, "Where are you?" Dilbert replies, "Dilbert - 'Most Likely to Find a Potato That Resembles Himself.'" Dogbert asks, "Who hasn't?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #jail, #Dilbert, #rich, #famous, #house, #dog, #profit, #permission, #happy hour

View Transcript

Transcript

A man wearing a robe and holding a wine glass asks Dilbert, "What are you in for?" Dilbert says angrily, "I live here!" Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "This is my house! My dog turned it into a jail-for-profit without my permission!" The man walks away saying, "Man, you're the wrong guy to talk to during 'happy hour.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #organization chart, #management, #bottom, #most important employees, #payed least, #upside down chart

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We've redesigned the organization chart to show management at the BOTTOM supporting our most important employees! Dilbert: Question: why do the most important employees get payed the least? The Boss; Because they would never think of ideas like this upside- down chart concept.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #baby dogbert, #ceramic figurine, #first aid, #vomiting, #focus group, #disater, #inmate cuteness, #profit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I found a way to profit from my innate cuteness. Introducing the limited edition "Baby Dogbert" ceramic figurine! Dilbert: I see - its a first aid device to induce vomiting. Dogbert: The focus group was a disaster.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #most talented, #technical professional, #Dogbert, #professional head hunter

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hello, this is Dogbert's professional headhunting service." "I find jobs for the most talented technical professionals. Several people mentioned your name." "So, is it true they'll be looking for somebody to fill your job soon? Hello?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #most user freindly, #computer, #pre insatlled, #software, #one button, #leaves factory, #over my head, #tech support number, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is in a computer retail store. The salesman points to a computer and explains, ". . . but by far, this computer is our most user-friendly." The salesman continues, "The pre-installed software has only one button. And we press it before it leaves the factory." Dilbert asks, "What does it do?" The salesman waves his hands and says, "Whoa! I'm in over my head. Let me give you their tech support number."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #add resource, #human beings, #not resources, #most valuable asset

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Alice who is seated at her desk. He asks, "Alice, I've decided to add a resource to your project." Alice screams, "We're human beings, not 'resources!!'" The Boss looks stunned as he replies, "Would it help if I told you that resources are our most valuable asset?"