Moving Everyone Comic Strips
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354 Results for Moving Everyone
View 1 - 10 results for moving everyone comic strips. Discover the best "Moving Everyone" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday April 29,
1999
Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #employee skills, #database, #moving everyone, #jobs, #laughed fuzzy
Transcript
Caption "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert sits at a conference table with Wally and Asok. Catbert says, "I'm starting an employee skills database." Asok raises his hand and says, "Question: Is this the first step in moving everyone to jobs they don't want?" Catbert says, "No, no, no..... The first step was when I laughed myslef fuzzy thinking about it."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday October 08,
2005
Tags #ex employee, #named ted, #company policy, #weather, #moving lazily
Transcript
"Hi. I'm calling to check the references of your ex-employee named Ted." "We have a company policy against giving references. But I'd be happy to discuss the weather with you." "Okay." "The clouds are moving lazily across the sky, and everyone thinks they're stupid."
Saturday February 19,
2011
Tags #anger, #honesty, #moving, #new offcie, #sounds weird, #real one, #save the attitude
Transcript
Wally says, "I can't help on your project this week because we're moving to a new office." Dilbert says, "It sounds weird because it's true." Wally says, "I like to throw in a real one every now and then." Wally says, "You might want to save that attitude for the next round."
Sunday July 24,
2011
Tags #gadgets, #scientific equipment, #data center, #lights out, #eliminate problems, #moving cables, #power cords, #ruining everything, #speakerphone, #humans are germs, #science
Transcript
Voice: The data center is evolving into a "lights out" operation. Employees will no longer be allowed in the data center. We hope to eliminate all of the problems that humans cause by moving cables, unplugging power cords, and ruining everything with their dirt and static. Dilbert: He makes it sound as if the data center is alive and we humans are nothing but germs. Alice: By the way, who called this meeting and who's on the speakerphone? Dilbert: Are you... the data center? Noise: CLICK. Dilbert: I have a bad feeling about this.
Saturday June 17,
1995
Tags #prodcutivity, #moving, #cubcile, #phone, #comaputer, #disconnected, #boxed, #lost, #abandoned pretense, #loser
Transcript
The Boss looks into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "I see signs of productivity here. I'm moving you to another cubicle." The Boss continues, "Your phone and computer will be disconnected for weeks. Your files will be boxed and lost." Dilbert's hair stands on end as he says, "Good Lord, you've abandoned all pretense of being on our side!!" The Boss responds, "Loser."
Friday August 11,
1995
Tags #reorganizing, #department, #fast moving, #powerless, #micro managed, #team, #less experienced people, #g forces, #killing me, #business
Transcript
The Boss, Wally, Alice and Dilbert sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "I'm reorganizing the department into fast-moving teams." Wally responds, "Good plan. We'll never realize we're powerless, micro-managed serfs after we call ourselves a 'team.'" The Boss thinks, "I need some less experienced people." Wally says, "I feel faster already." Alice adds, "The G-forces are killing me".
Monday November 25,
1996
Tags #effective raise, #evil, #mr catbert, #moving, #slow motion
Transcript
Wally asks Catbert, "When will my raise be effective?" Catbert replies, "The same time you are." The caption says, "The evil Mr. Catbert, Director of H.R., is feeling 'in the zone.'" Catbert sits at his desk thinking, "It's as if all the employees are moving in slow motion."
Wednesday February 19,
1997
Tags #union job, #file or grievance, #moving ten feet, #johnny cash, #wait for union person
Transcript
Dilbert carries a monitor. A man says, "Hey, that's a union job. Put it down or I'll file a grievance." Dilbert says, "I'm only moving it ten feet. If I wait for a union person, I'll be unable to do my job for a week." The man says, "Watch me not care." Dilbert wears a hooded black suit and holds a grappling hook. Dogbert says, "If anyone sees you move the PC tonight, try saying you're Johnny Cash." Dilbert says, "Maybe I should just use the elevator."
Thursday May 29,
1997
Tags #cloud of doom, #zaps everyone, #once a minute, #past behavior, #indication of future, #won't happen again
Transcript
Dilbert sits on a bench with a woman wearing charred clothing. Dilbert says, "I have a cloud of doom that zaps everyone near me once a minute." The cloud hovers over Dilbert. Dilbert continues, "I'm looking for a woman who deson't think that past behavior is an indication of the future." A bolt of lightning from the cloud strikes the woman. Dilbert continues, ". . . A woman with absolutely no sense of pattern recognition." The woman says, "Ouch. I'm glad that won't happen again."
Wednesday July 02,
1997
Tags #everyone talks funny, #not morons, #incapable, #clear communication, #think outside box, #watch ego, #before ego dies, #rebel, #do it
Transcript
The Boss sits at his desk. Asok the Intern says, "I finally figured out why everyone talks so funny in this company." Asok says, "We're not morons who are incapable of clear communication. We're rebels who like to 'think outside the box.'" The Boss says, "It's always fascinating to watch and ego just before is dies." Asok says, "I'm a rebel! Task me witha 'do it'.'"