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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2001's comic on:


Tags #outsourced sales, #elbonian company, #complex technology, #bad string, #call back, #mud pile

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We outsourced our sales and fulfillment functions to an Elbonian company." Wally looks at Dilbert as Dilbert asks, "Um... Are you sure that's the best way to sell complex technology?" Three Elbonians and a pig each are holding a tin can with string to their ears. One Elbonian says, "Could you call back? We have a bad string."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2001's comic on:


Tags #elboninan fullfillment, #service, #thwart, #300 times, #string phones, #mud pile, #pig, #laughing, #animals

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Two Elbonians each have a tin can with string held up to their ears. One Elbonian says, "This is the Elbonian Fulfillment Service. How may I thwart you?" The Elbonians continue listening to their tin cans. One Elbonian hears, "Grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt." The Elbonian holds his tin can away from his ear and says to the pig, "Okay, it wasn't funny the first 300 times either."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #laziness, #writing materials, #pile, #busget numbers, #print again, #think murder

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Boss: I need your latest budget numbers. Dilbert: I put them on that pile yesterday. Boss: I don't have time to look through a pile. Go print it out again. Dilbert: How many times per day is it okay to think about murder? Wally: I'm up to six and it's only lunchtime.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #hawk, #beak, #mud, #swallow, #bald, #eagle, #birds, #disco

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Dilbert and Dogbert crouch behind a bush and look through binoculars. Dogbert says, "Whoa! Looks like we got a pippin hawk, a prickly beak mud swallow, and a bald eagle." Dilbert says, "Robin." Dilbert asks, "How is it that you have spotted 1,700 exotic birds this morning, and all I have seen is one robin?" Dogbert points and says, "Look! A monkey-faced disco hawk!!" Dilbert asks, "Where?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 1990's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #capital, #mud, #country, #blue, #jeans, #communism, #capitalism, #Dilbert

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The caption says, "Dilbert takes a slingshot ride to Elbonia's capital." Dilbert flies through the air thinking, "There it is . . ." Dilbert lands in the mud and thinks, "It's a good thing this whole country is made of mud." Dilbert says to two Elbonians and a pig, "I have come to teach you capitalism." A pig asks, "Did you bring blue jeans?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 1990's comic on:


Tags #pig, #capitalism, #process, #mud, #making, #communism, #elbonian, #elbonia, #Politics, #Dilbert

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An Elbonian asks Dilbert, "How do we know you came to Elbonia just to teach us capitalism?" Another man says, "Yeah . . . Maybe you came to steal our secret process for making mud!!" Dilbert asks, "Dirt and water?" As Dilbert stands in the distance, an Elbonian says, "He knows . . ." The pig says, "We'll have to kill him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #economy, #mud, #planning, #pigs, #communism, #elbonia, #Political, #capitalism

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Dilbert says to a group of Elbonians, "The basic problem with your economy is that the only product you make is mud . . ." An Elbonian asks, "So?" Dilbert says, "Nobody needs mud. Who the heck is in charge of planning this economy, anyway?" The pig smiles.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #pile, #mail, #resident, #ahh, #therefore, #mailbox, #existence, #existential

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Dilbert takes the mail out of the mailbox and thinks, "Ooh! Nice pile of mail today!" Dilbert looks through the mail and thinks, "Resident . . . Resident . . . Resident . . . Ahh, Dilbert." Dilbert thinks, "I get mail; therefore I am."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dilemma, #company, #discouraging, #drug, #use, #constitutional, #rights, #straightest, #path, #mud, #rationalize

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Dilbert sits in his chair and says to Dogbert, "It's an ethical dilemma . . . I support my company's goal of discouraging drug use, but the random drug testing policy is a violation of my constitutional rights." Dilbert continues, "I'll get fired if I refuse the test. What is the ethical thing to do?" Dogbert replies, "Hack into their computer and change your Boss's test results." Dilbert sits at his computer and says, "Sometimes the straightest path is through the mud." Dogbert says, "Good, rationalize it with an obtuse metaphor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #rich, #money, #wallow, #mud, #puddle, #bored, #ever, #get

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Dogbert walks on a sidewalk thinking, "I love being rich." Dogbert says to a passerby, "I'll give you ten thousand dollars if you wallow in that mud puddle." As the man lies face down in the mud, Dogbert says, "I don't see how rich people ever get bored."