Named Project Manger Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

737 Results for Named Project Manger

View 1 - 10 results for named project manger comic strips. Discover the best "Named Project Manger" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embarrassed of son, #Family, #food service industry, #insult, #locksmith, #mother, #named project manger, #paying for lunch, #restaurants, #sons occupation, #don't tell freinds

View Transcript

Transcript

Mom, the good news I wanted to tell you is that my boss named me project manager. Mom: Please keep that to yourself. I tell my friends you're a locksmith. Dilbert: You're paying for your own lunch. Waiter: I'm Ed. I'll be your project manager.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bucky the project manger, #assignment, #painfully difficult, #unnecessary, #complaining to boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Bucky approaches Dilbert, "I'm Bucky, the project manager." Handing Dilbert a piece of paper, Bucky says to him "Your assignment is painfully difficult and probably unnecessary." Bucky continues, "If you need me, I'll be complaining about you to your boss."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #little people allowed, #strategy decisions, #project opal, #executive intuition, #budget cut, #opal project, #named after daughter, #increase budget, #secret meetings, #decision makers

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "All the important decision-makers in the company in this room." The Boss continues, "No little people are allowed because we'll be making important strategy decisions." The Boss continues, "First, let's make decisions about project Opal." The Boss continues, "Does anyone know what the project is or what we need to decide?" A man raises his hand and says, "My executive intuition tells me we should cut the budget by 10%." Another man turns to him and says, "I think Opal is one of your projects. It's named after your daughter." The first speaker grabs his own head and says, "Wait.. a new intuition is coming in now... it says to increase the budget." Dilbert asks the Boss, "Why are those meetings secret?" The Boss replies, "You don't want to know."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #arch nemesis, #ttp, #ttp project, #join

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Wally would you like to be on my 'TTP' project? Wally: What does 'TTP' stand for? Dilbert: Its short for the TTP Project. Dilbert: I named it myself, So, do you want to join? wally: Id rather be your arch nemesis.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #iso 9000 project, #hand picked, #manger, #project

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a desk and says, "Thank you for coming to the 'ISO 9000' project kick-off meeting." Dilbert continues, "Each of you was hand-picked by your manager for this project because . . ." Dilbert faces a table of strange people and says, "Well . . . never mind why."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #right on plan, #project, #bad idea, #senior mangement, #leadership, #widespread mockery, #lawyers, #purging, #gigantic failure, #forget, #mission statemnet, #literal interpretation

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Wally hands the Boss a piece of paper and says, "My project is right on plan." Wally continues, "It began last week as a bad idea from somebody in senior management." Wally continues, "Thanks to my leadership, it is already an object of widespread mockery and derision." Wally continues, "As I speak, our lawyers are purging every last trace of value it might have had." Wally continues, "With luck, the project will be a gigantic failure in a month." Wally continues, "People will forget my failure and remember that I'm experienced. Promotions will follow. Yes!!" Wally concludes, "In six months I'll be dating an executive secretary named Yvonne." Dilbert says, "Good plan." The Boss asks, "Wally, have you ever read our mission statement?" Wally replies, "Yeah, but I don't subscribe to a literal interpretation."

What Phase Of The Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
What Phase Of The Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #insulting, #project, #questioning

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What phase is your project in? Dilbert: This is the phase where people ask stupid questions. Boss: How long does it last? Dilbert: It isn't looking good for today.

Wally Heads Up Ai Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Heads Up Ai Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #project, #fake

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I need you to head up our artificial intelligence project. You will have no budget and no hope of success. I just like saying we're working on AI. And you're completely useless, so it's a good match. Wally: I won't let you down.

Project Update

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Project Update - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #project, #update, #plan, #read, #imaginary

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: did you send me your project update? dilbert: were you planning to read it? boss: no dilbert: then i totally sent it too you boss thinking: half of my job is imaginary

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #administrative agencies, #project timeline, #waste one week, #set up meeting, #available in a week

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I estimated the project timeline by assuming that everyone involved will waste one week. Boss: That's a stupid way to do a timeline. Set up a meeting and I'll show you how it's supposed to be done. Carol: He's available in a week.