Search Results for "needy followers"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2014's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #fusion powered robot, #speed of light, #budget, #micromanaged, #leadership, #needy followers, #business

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Boss: Great leaders set high standards and stay out of the way. So... I want you to build a fusion-powered robot that can run faster than the speed of light! While you're doing that, I'll be staying out of your way. You won't see or hear from me. I won't even respond to email. Dilbert: Is there a budget for this impossible project? Boss: Sheesh! Look who needs to be micromanaged! Now I can't go hide. You've ruined my leadership! Boss: It's hard to be a great leader when all of my followers are so needy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2008's comic on:


Tags #improve reputation, #million dollars, #tramps, #money to needy, #dnation

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The Boss says, "I want to improve our reputation in the community by donating money to the needy." The Boss says, "Find me a photogenic hobo who could use a million dollars." Dilbert says, "I'm looking for a hobo who could use a million dollars." A man says, "Sorry, we're tramps."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2007's comic on:


Tags #price quite, #taxes, #shipping, #cable, #carts, #software, #memory, #upgrades, #maintence, #insurance, #needy, #engineering

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"That price quote includes everything!" Dilbert: "What about taxes, shipping, cables, carts, software, memory upgrades, maintenance and insurance?" "Has anyone ever called you needy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2013's comic on:


Tags #courage, #pessimism, #motivation, #temporary arrangement, #oblivion, #universe, #needy

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Dilbert: What's my motivation today? Dogbert: You're a temporary arrangement of matter sliding toward oblivion in a cold, uncaring universe. Dilbert: That's it? Dogbert: Did I already say "needy?"

Boring And Needy Children

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Boring And Needy Children - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #parents, #mother, #interview, #children, #annoyance, #work-life balance, #Family

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Boss: Do you enjoy spending time with your children? Woman: No, they're boring and needy. They can't even hold a conversation. If I'm being honest, I prefer working long hours so I see less of them. Boss: Perfect. You're hired. Woman: I mean, I love them, but I don't like them.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2011's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #fascinating, #twitter, #keep boss happy

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Wally: You fascinate me. I think I speak for all of your followers on Twitter when I say we want more, more, more. Dilbert: You don't use Twitter. Wally: I just used it to keep my boss busy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #dating, #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #Dilbert, #twitter, #world has judged, #dont exist, #ghost, #blocking tv, #relationships

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Woman: How many Twitter followers do you have? Dilbert: None. Woman: The world has judged you. Dilbert: It's as if I don't exist! Dogbert: For a ghost, you do a good job of blocking the TV.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2013's comic on:


Tags #angel, #fix things, #granted wishes, #know it all, #needy, #questions, #things gone wrong, #workers, #angel of competence

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Angel: I am the angel of competence. I have come to mark you as an engineer turn around, Dilbert: So, its like an honor? Angel: Sure, if that makes you feel better. The Boss: Can you show me how to set ups my wireless router at home? Tina: My phone keeps freezing up, can you look at it? Ted: How long should I barbecue trick-tip? Man: The pilot lightly on my water heater is out, How do you fix cracks in a driveway? what exactly does iCloud do? GAAA!!! Dilbert: I need to talk to the angel of competence have you seen him? Wally: He died in my cubicle, Thats all Im saying.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2013's comic on:


Tags #engineering experince, #job interview, #no friends, #social influence, #social media score

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The Boss; Your engineering looks great, but your social media score is nearly zero. You have no friends , no followers, and no social influence whatsoever. Man: because I four on my work! The Boss: No, Im pretty sure you're dead.

Dilbert Needs To Show Leadership

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Dilbert Needs To Show Leadership - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2014's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #leadership, #logic, #managers, #project, #team members, #job, #fixed, #responsibility, #business

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Boss: You need to show more leadership on your project. Dilbert: How do you know my leadership is a problem? Maybe the team members are bad followers. Boss: It's your job to fix it either way. Dilbert: The way you just fixed me with your leadership?