Negative Force Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

80 Results for Negative Force

View 1 - 10 results for negative force comic strips. Discover the best "Negative Force" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee moral survey, #open, #honest, #communication from management, #death spiral, #looting comaony, #noise, #fishing lures, #e, #ploys suffer, #boss likes hurting, #sick boss, #negative force

View Transcript

Transcript

"I have the results of the employee morale survey." "The number one issue is 'not enough open and honest communication from management.'" "Well, okay. I'm willing to give that a try." "Management is looting the company while hiding the fact that we're in a death spiral." "Whenever you talk, I think about fishing lures until the noise stops." "When I see an employee suffer, it excites me in ways I don't understand." "On nine separate occasions I've fired bald guys because I thought they were you." "If this doesn't work for you. Let me know on next employee morale survey."

Dilbert Characters

Prove A Negative

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Prove A Negative - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #accusations, #negative

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo to dilbert: is this everything i need to know? dilbert: yes. ceo: how can you be sure there isn't something out there we don't know about? dlbert: are you asking me to prove a negative? ceo: it's more of an accusation than a question.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eliminate redundencies, #internal process, #irony, #task force

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I started a task force to eliminate redundancies in our internal processes. Man: Really? I'm doing the same thing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #public realtions firm, #persuade media, #negative stores, #competitor, #ethical, #public relations form, #defaming company, #defame

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired the Dogbert public relations firm. His job is to persuade the media to write negative stories about our competitor. Dilbert: Is that ethical? Dogbert: I assure you that your competitor is doing the same thing to you. They're paying a public relations firm a fortune to steer the media toward defaming your company. Dilbert: Who did they hire to defame us. Dogbert: Probably someone awesome.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #hardware, #store, #invisible force, #therapy, #psychiatrist, #selfish, #feelings, #talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on a couch and explains to a therapist, ". . . Whenever I'm near a hardware store I feel an invisible force drawing me inside . . ." The psychologist says, "You've been talking about yourself since you got here. We never talk about ME and MY feelings. I hurt too, you know." Dilbert says, "I'm paying $75 an hour . . ." The psychiatrist says, "Good Lord, and you think that makes it okay to be selfish??"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #force, #ego, #insecurities

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert confronts his own ego. Dilbert: You can't leave me now... Dilbert's ego: Nobody tells me what to do! I am pure ego force! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Dilbert: Maybe you'd like to discuss that with my insecurities.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #scientist, #anti-defamation, #league, #negative, #stereotypes, #concentration, #media, #portrayed, #technical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching him. Dilbert says, "I joined the 'Scientist Anti-Defamation League.'" Dogbert asks, "What's that?" Dilbert replies, "They fight against the negative stereotypes of technical people that are often portrayed in the media." Dilbert's tie is wrapped around his body, arms and head. Dilbert says, "You broke my concentration."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #violence, #Dilbert, #Wally, #jester, #costume, #the boss, #task force, #humor, #creativity

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally enters wearing a court jester costume. Dilbert asks, "What's the story with the costume, Wally?" Wally replies, "The Boss put me on a special task force to see if humor increases creativity. I have to dress like this for a month." Dilbert asks, "Are you feeling more creative?" Wally replies, "Yeah. I've already thought of six hundred ways to kill him,"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #board room, #fire employees, #no employees, #task force, #competitors, #white rumps

View Transcript

Transcript

EXECUTIVE BOARD ROOM TED: our competitors are kicking our pasty white rumps. Ted: Im bringing in dogcart to fire employees until we're stronger than the competition. Man: How will the work get done with no employees? Ted: Id better form a test force to study that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interdisciplinary task force, #source of problem, #xray skull, #decision making process

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm starting an interdisciplinary task force to study our decision-making process." Dilbert responds, "So, you're using a bad decision-making process to decide how to fix our bad decision-making process?" The Boss says, "I don't know how else we could find the source of our problem." Dilbert says, "X-ray your skull?"