Negotiate Sale Comic Strips

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65 Results for Negotiate Sale

View 1 - 10 results for negotiate sale comic strips. Discover the best "Negotiate Sale" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2004's comic on:


Tags #negotiate sale, #voice activated hassock business, #no lying, #plenty of ommissions, #tactical ignorance

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The Boss: "I want you to negotiate the sale of our voice activated hassock business." "You're not allowed to lie, but I expect plenty of omissions, misdirections, exaggerations..." "...Unjustified optimism, lost documents, unclear explanations, gray areas and tactical ignorance. Oh, and say that we have other offers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #retail business, #sales trip, #dont talk, #misleading impression, #engineering support, #after sale, #bag of meat, #lying bag of meat

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Boss: I need you to come with me on a sales trip, but don't talk to the customer. Your presence is needed to give a misleading impression of how much engineering support we plan to offer after the sale. Dilbert: So I'm nothing but a bag of meat? Boss: No. You're a lying bag of meat.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 1990's comic on:


Tags #doctor, #Dilbert, #sale, #price, #discount, #cash, #ten, #days

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Dilbert sits on an examining table in a doctor's office. The doctor says, "Normally I'd give you six months to live." The physician continues, "But we're having a '50% off sale' today, so I'll give you a full year for the same price." Dilbert lies back on the table. The doctor says, "And you get an extra ten days if you pay cash!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 1990's comic on:


Tags #fur, #store, #dog, #spelling, #Dogbert, #store front, #bad, #fur sale

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Dogbert stands on the sidewalk holding a sign that says "Fur is Murder." There is a "Fur Sale" sign in the store behind him. The proprietor asks, "What's yer problem with my store, dog?" Dogbert replies, "I oppose the sale of fur." The storekeeper says, "I'm not selling fur. The whole store is 'fur sale.'" Dogbert says, "I oppose bad spelling too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 1991's comic on:


Tags #scientist, #defamation, #league, #bake, #sale, #fund, #raiser, #repeat, #fiasco, #competitive, #volcanoes, #indigenous, #fleeing, #horror

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At the Scientist Anti-Defamation League, a man says, "The bake sale fund raiser is Thursday." The man continues, "And let's not have a repeat of last year's fiasco when it got so competitive." On Thursday, Dilbert enters carrying a volcano and a man with a clipboard says, "Put it with the other volcanoes." Dilbert asks, "Did you notice the indigenous people fleeing in horror?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #elbonia, #airlines, #negotiate, #end, #civil, #war, #impress, #rebel, #call, #fox, #dead

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The caption says, "Dilbert takes Elbonia Airlines. He's been asked to negotiate an end to the Elbonian civil war." An Elbonian man places Dilbert and his suitcase in a giant slingshot. Dilbert flies through the air over Elbonia. Dilbert thinks, "I can succeed if I find some way to impress the rebel leader they call 'The Fox.'" Dilbert lands on an Elbonian man. Another Elbonian yells, "The Fox is dead!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1994's comic on:


Tags #big money, #deal, #dog, #Dogbert, #executive, #mercury dimes, #negotiate, #static network, #stock, #static for sale, #animals

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CEO: We'll give you sixty billion for the "dogcart static network" half f that will be stock in our company. Dogbert: Who would want stock in a company that would pay city billion for static? CEO: Not us thats the point. Dogbert: Id like it all in mercury dimes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 1995's comic on:


Tags #missing years, #at mall, #dad at mall, #looking for him, #24/7, #waiting for sale, #whiner

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Liz is having tea with Dilbert and his mother. Liz says, "I can't believe your father has been lost at the mall since 1992!" Liz continues, "If my father or my husband were lost at the mall I'd be searching for him twenty-four hours a day!!" Dilbert comments, "We're waiting for a sale." His mother says, "You're a bit of a whiner, aren't you, dear?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 1995's comic on:


Tags #office equipment, #garage sale, #new slogan, #selling stuff, #keeping money

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Dilbert watches Wally pack his car trunk. Dilbert asks, "Where are you taking all that office equipment?" Wally answers, "I'm having a garage sale." Wally continues, "Our new company slogan is 'Act like you own the company.' So I've been selling the stuff that I don't use and keeping the money." Dilbert asks, "Is that my new color monitor?" Wally replies, "Yeah, I never use that thing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 1995's comic on:


Tags #act as sales people, #dilberts mother, #primary rate circuit, #frame delay drop, #packet data, #tough sale

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Dilbert and his mother sit on the couch. Dilbert shows his mother a document and says, "My company asked all employees to act as salespeople to friends and family. I think you could use this, Mom." Dilbert's mother says, "Why would I need a primary rate circuit? I've already got a frame relay drop to my web server in the sewing room." Dilbert thinks, "This is going to be a tough sale." Dilbert's mother says, "Hello-o-o! Earth to Dilbert! This is packet data . . ."