Negotiated Comic Strips
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5 Results for Negotiated
View 1 - 5 results for negotiated comic strips. Discover the best "Negotiated" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday September 14,
2001
Tags #negotiated contract, #six weeks, #double delivery time, #devious weasel, #simply incompetent
Transcript
Dilbert is reading a contract while meeting with a business associate. Dilbert says, "We've negotiated this contract for six weeks and today you double your delivery time?" Dilbert continues, "I can't tell if you're an incredibly devious weasel or simply incompetent." The business associate begins to pull on his own nose and says, "Here's a clue." The business associate pulls of his nose to reveal a weasel's nose underneath. It makes the sound, "poink."
Thursday May 30,
2013
Tags #ex ceo, #executives, #generous, #negotiated, #severance package, #wages, #robotic flea, #giant flea, #money
Transcript
Catbert: Our es-CEO negotiated an unusually generous severance package. We had to build a giant robotic flea to suck the assets out of the company. The weird part is that it seemed reasonable at the time.
Thursday August 24,
2000
Tags #part time work, #finish urgent projects, #pay cut, #come in on day off
Transcript
Noriko asks the Boss, "Would it be okay if I worked part-time?" The Boss answers, "That depends." The Boss continues, "Would you be willing to come in on your days off to finish urgent projects?" Noriko replies, "Yes." Dilbert asks Noriko during lunch, "So, basically you negotiated a fifty percent pay cut?"
Saturday September 15,
2001
Tags #English, #imcomprehensible, #weseleze, #sign something, #lawyer, #miss deadline, #frat brother, #legal
Transcript
Dilbert is meeting with the weasel nosed business associate. Dibert says, "Hey, we negotiated this deal in English but your contract is incomprehensible weaseleze!" The weasel covers his mouth sneakily. Dilbert continues, "My only choices are to sign something I don't understand or get my lawyer involved and miss my deadline!" Phil appears and puts his arm around the weasel. Dilbert says, "Ha! Now you're going to heck!" Phil responds, "Are you hassling my frat brother?"
Friday March 11,
2016
Boss Is Bad Negotiator
Tags #haggle, #money, #negotation, #negotiating, #raise, #salary, #trick, #eric scott
Transcript
Asok: I just learned that our boss is a bad negotiator. Wally: How bad? Asok: I just negotiated a 3.3-million-dollar raise for myself. And I want 80 percent of the raises you two get because I told you. Dilbert and Wally: 75 percent is our final offer!