Negotiating Comic Strips
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32 Results for Negotiating
View 1 - 10 results for negotiating comic strips. Discover the best "Negotiating" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday October 14,
2017
Dogbert's Negotiating Class
Tags #negotiating, #deception, #sales, #manipulation, #deal, #business
Transcript
Boss: I approved your request to take a negotiating class. Dilbert: Why did you change your mind? Boss: The instructor offered a great deal. Narrator: Earlier that day. Dogbert: Would you like to spend other people's money to get rid of Dilbert for a few days? Boss: Sold!
Monday October 09,
2017
Dilbert Wants To Take A Class In Negotiating
Tags #negotiating, #catch-22, #conference, #training
Transcript
Dilbert: I need your approval to take a class on negotiating. Boss: See if you can persuade me to approve it. Dilbert: I... don't know how to negotiate yet. Boss: That's the flaw in your plan.
Thursday August 28,
2003
Tags #ask them, #feeling embarrassed, #money, #negotiating with vendors, #phd, #right thing, #thinking of idea
Transcript
Man: I have a PHD, so obviously you should do what I say. Instead of negotiating with vendors, lets just tell them how much money we have and ask them yo do the right thing. You're probably feeling embarrassed for not thinking of the idea yourself. Alice: Must...not...shave...PHD.
Thursday July 15,
2004
Tags #negotiating, #opening offer, #lots of better offers, #ruining everything
Transcript
Negotiating My opening offer is... Dilbert: Thank you, thank you, than you, we accept your offer!! I haven t said an offer. Dilbert: I mean we have lots of other offers that are better. You're ruining everything.
Tuesday September 09,
2008
Tags #fortune, #personally negotiating, #contract, #new era system, #several components, #software, #hardware, #engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "I saved a fortune by personally negotiating the contract for our new ERP system." Dilbert says, "You bought outdated hardware and forgot several components that are required." Dilbert says, "And I like software with my hardware, but that's just me."
Friday January 22,
2010
Tags #cultural sensitivity, #elbonians, #negotiating, #soul, #training, #yawn
Transcript
CULTURAL SENSITIVITY TRAINING Man says, ?Elbonians believe that if you yawn in their direction, you steal their soul.? Alice says, ?In other words, we can use it as a negotiating tool.? Man says, ?No, that's not...? LATER Alice says, ?Okay, my intern has your soul. Give us a 20% discount or he swallows.?
Monday September 28,
2009
Tags #negotiating, #broke, #poor, #economy, #recession, #comparison, #exaggeration
Transcript
Negotiating in a bad economy The Boss says, "My company is so poor that we need a 20% price reduction or we'll go belly-up." Man says, "My company is so poor that our only chance of eating involves throwing office supplies at low-flying birds." The boss says, "Shall we say 10%?" Man says, "Our health plan is 'Screaming.'"
Sunday September 08,
2013
Tags #death & dying, #negotiating, #work ethic, #raise, #workload, #incentive, #work harder, #disgruntled, #no meaning, #dreams lie broken
Transcript
Boss: If you finish your project in twelve months, I'll give you a five percent raise. Dilbert: I would gladly give up five percent of my future pay to avoid a doubling of my workload. Boss: You don't understand. I'm giving you an incentive to work harder. Dilbert: No, I'm pretty sure you're charging me five percent of my future pay to sit here and feel disgruntled. And it's working. I hate you more than ever and I no longer find meaning in my work My dreams lie broken and empty beneath the ruins of my optimism. Boss: I can't tell if your negotiating or dying. Dilbert: It's a little of both.
Tuesday March 15,
2016
Dogbert The Negotiating Expert
Tags #money, #negotiate, #negotiations, #racket, #guest artist, #josh shipley
Transcript
Boss: I hired an expert on negotiating to teach us a few things. He only costs a million dollars, and for that we get five minutes of his time. Let's get started. Dogbert: We're out of time, unless you want to renegotiate.
Wednesday March 16,
2016
Dogbert's Negotiating Class
Tags #book, #deal, #negotiating, #negotiation, #self help, #guest artist, #josh shipley
Transcript
Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's one-week training class for negotiators. I believe in leading by example, so this entire course will involve me trying to persuade you to buy my book. If everyone in the class buys my book, you can all have the rest of the week off. Voice: Done.