Negotiating With Vendors Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Negotiating With Vendors
View 1 - 10 results for negotiating with vendors comic strips. Discover the best "Negotiating With Vendors" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday August 28,
2003
Tags #ask them, #feeling embarrassed, #money, #negotiating with vendors, #phd, #right thing, #thinking of idea
Transcript
Man: I have a PHD, so obviously you should do what I say. Instead of negotiating with vendors, lets just tell them how much money we have and ask them yo do the right thing. You're probably feeling embarrassed for not thinking of the idea yourself. Alice: Must...not...shave...PHD.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday December 31,
2006
Transcript
I'll ask the vendor for ballpark prices to see if the idea is feasible. "You can't talk with vendors until our change control board approves the project." "But that would require a cost-benefit analysis." "And I can't do that without ballpark prices from the vendor." "Just take your best guess." "So...I should make up a number so I can get approval to make a phone call and ask what the number should have been?" "Right. But first you need to get my approval to do the cost-benefit analysis." "Will you approve it?" "I'd have to see the numbers."
Thursday May 17,
2001
Tags #taking bribes, #from vendors, #feel guilty, #getting paid, #walk with cup, #looks harder
Transcript
Carol sits behind her desk. Wally approaches with a cup of coffee and says, "Do you feel guilty about taking bribes from vendors?" Carol replies, "No. Do you feel guilty getting paid to walk around with a coffee cup?" Wally walks away thinking, "I need a bigger cup so this looks harder."
Saturday December 09,
1995
Tags #inexplicable, #low cost, #system, #underpowered, #replace, #another vendors, #upgrade fees, #big a fool, #lease option
Transcript
The Boss and Dogbert sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "It's inexplicable, but the low-cost system I sold you seems to be woefully under-powered." Dogbert continues, "You could replace it with another vendor's system, thus showing everybody you make a mistake. Or you can pay my outrageous upgrade fees." The Boss asks, "How big a fool do you think I am?" Dogbert replies, "I won't know until I see if you go for the lease option."
Sunday June 11,
2000
Tags #cut budget, #technology installation, #adequate budget, #unethical vendors, #huge purchase, #free stuff, #no hidden costs, #huge purchase later
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I cut your budget in half." Dilbert replies, "How can I do a technology installation without an adequate budget?!" The Boss says, "Try being unethical with our vendors." Dilbert answers, "What?" The Boss replies, "It's easy." The Boss continues, "Tell them we might make a huge purchase. Later..." The Boss goes on to say, "...If they give us a bunch of free stuff now." The Boss says to Dilbert, "If it makes you feel better, wait until they lie first." The vendor representative says to Dilbert, "And there are no hidden costs." Dilbert says to the representative, "Um...we might make a huge purchase later."
Friday January 12,
2007
Tags #engineer, #magic vendors fault, #network, #shoebox, #twigs and leaves, #engineering
Transcript
Client: Your network product appears to be a shoe box full of twigs and leaves. Sales engineer: Hoho! Just wist util my engineer does his magic and integrates it with your network! Make it look like another vendor's fault.
Monday June 09,
2008
Tags #meeting with boss, #vendors, #customers, #please kill me
Transcript
The Boss says, "Asok, you never mentioned any issues this quarter, so I assume you didn't do any work." A man says, "Ooooh, lordy lord! Our vendors are incompetent and our customers are suing us!!!" The Boss says, "Why can't you be more like that guy?" A man says, "Someone please kill me!"
Tuesday September 09,
2008
Tags #fortune, #personally negotiating, #contract, #new era system, #several components, #software, #hardware, #engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "I saved a fortune by personally negotiating the contract for our new ERP system." Dilbert says, "You bought outdated hardware and forgot several components that are required." Dilbert says, "And I like software with my hardware, but that's just me."
Saturday October 14,
2017
Dogbert's Negotiating Class
Tags #negotiating, #deception, #sales, #manipulation, #deal, #business
Transcript
Boss: I approved your request to take a negotiating class. Dilbert: Why did you change your mind? Boss: The instructor offered a great deal. Narrator: Earlier that day. Dogbert: Would you like to spend other people's money to get rid of Dilbert for a few days? Boss: Sold!
Monday October 09,
2017
Dilbert Wants To Take A Class In Negotiating
Tags #negotiating, #catch-22, #conference, #training
Transcript
Dilbert: I need your approval to take a class on negotiating. Boss: See if you can persuade me to approve it. Dilbert: I... don't know how to negotiate yet. Boss: That's the flaw in your plan.