Neutrino Sensor Comic Strips

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5 Results for Neutrino Sensor

View 1 - 5 results for neutrino sensor comic strips. Discover the best "Neutrino Sensor" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cheeseburger, dead man walking, deception, dried apricot, heart, inventions, medical diagnosis, program to hate, neutrino sensor

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Wally: I programmed our robot to make medical diagnoses. It can scan your body using its neutrino sensor. Robot, please demonstrate. Robot: Dead man walking! Boss: What? Robot: Your brain is the size of a dried apricot. Your heart is more cheeseburger than human tissue. You will be dead in eleven days, six hours, and nineteen minutes. Boss: Gaaa!!! Robot: Why did you program me to hate people? Wally: It was easier than inventing a neutrino sensor.

Empathy Sensor

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 Empathy Sensor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, empathy, feelings, office workers, psychology, sad, sensor, story, face mask

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tina wearing face mask: you did not have sufficient empathy when i told you my sad story. dilbert wearing face mask: how could you possible measure my internal feelings of empathy? tina: i used my empathy sensor. dilbert: that's a stapler.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags security card, appreciate, front pocket, thrust at door sensor, door opener

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CatBert: People are complaining about how you use your security card. "We'd appreciate it if you didn't keep it in your front pocket and thrust it at the door sensor." Wally: "I didn't know the security card was why the door opened."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags biometric sensor, cruelty, electric shock, inventions, prototype, tasered, test animals, humans

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Dilbert: I added a biometric sensor to our smartphone prototype. ZZEEEP It uses x-rays. Boss: Maybe you should have tested it on animals first. Dilbert: Do I look like an animal hater?

Health Sensor Predictes Death

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Health Sensor Predictes Death - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invention, success, technology, health monitor, fitbit, smart watch, heart, heart rate, death, medical

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Ted: The health sensors you built into our smart watch prototype aren't working. According to your stupid sensors, my heart is going to stop beating in... Dilbert: Yay me!