Never Been Cloned Comic Strips
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628 Results for Never Been Cloned
View 1 - 10 results for never been cloned comic strips. Discover the best "Never Been Cloned" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday January 15,
1998
Tags #skeptics association, #psychic rat, #passport, #drivers licence, #fake id, #dna test, #never been cloned
Transcript
Dilbert is talking on the telephone and says, "Is this Skeptics Association? I need your help to prove my rat isn't psychic." Dilbert holds the phone and says, "My name is Dilbert. Yes, I can prove it; I have a pssport and a driver's license. Well, yeah. It's easy to get a fake ID, but..." Hours later... Dilbert is still on the phone, his hair is a mess and he says, "...Okay, what if I take a DNA test? No, I can't prove I've never been cloned!!" He's angry.
Wednesday November 12,
2014
We Will Never Forget Ted
Tags #coworker, #coworkers, #death, #tributes, #morning, #beloved collegue, #never forget, #medical
Transcript
Boss: We mourn the untimely passing of our beloved colleague, Fred. We will never forget him. Dilbert: It was Ted, not Fred. Boss: Was he beloved? Wally: I don't remember. It was like a week ago.
Wednesday March 23,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #work ethic, #work-life balance, #implies life is impirtant, #work-life intergration, #big thanks, #never had a life
Transcript
Catbert says, "We're no longer using the term 'work-life balance' because it implies that your life is important." Catbert says, "Now we call it 'work-life integration' so it's easier to make you work when you would prefer being with loved ones." Catbert says, "And I'd like to give a big thanks to those of you who never had a life." Dilbert says, "You're welcome."
Tuesday June 14,
2011
Tags #cruelty, #frustration, #idea, #never work, #reject hypothesis, #self doubt
Transcript
Man: Your idea will never work. Dilbert: At what point did you reject the hypothesis that you're too dumb to understand how good the idea is? I'm becoming even less of a people person.
Saturday August 20,
2011
Tags #conversation, #interviews, #biggest mistake, #learned from t, #old couch, #chewing, #starbucks, #never tell story
Transcript
Interview question. Boss: Describe your biggest mistake and what you learned from it. Man: I tried to get rid of an old couch by chewing it into tiny pieces and leaving one handful at a time at a Starbucks. Boss: And what did you learn? Man: I learned I should never tell that story.
Thursday December 08,
2011
Tags #conversation, #internet & world wide web, #seattle, #quick meeting, #stone age tribe, #skype, #never used, #why fly, #telecommunte, #airplane
Transcript
Boss: I need you to fly to Seattle for a quick meeting. Dilbert: Will I be meeting with a newly discovered Stone Age tribe that has never used Skype? Boss: No. Dilbert: Then I'm totally confused.
Friday May 18,
2012
Tags #job description, #mindless zombie, #team work, #wate time, #tasks, #waste time, #never shows intitaive
Transcript
Wally: Should I waste my time doing tasks that are not in my job description? Or should I be a mindless zombie that shuns teamwork and never shows initiative? Take your time. I'm good either way.
Tuesday May 29,
2012
Tags #goals, #nailing them, #unspoken objectives, #goals never mentioned
Transcript
Boss: How are you doing in your unspoken objectives? Dilbert: My what? Boss: I'm referring to the goals I have in my mind that I've never mentioned. How are those going? Dilbert: I'm totally nailing them.
Saturday October 06,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #wild, #deer, #cloned, #Dogbert, #pool, #money, #ground
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Hi . . . Uh, why am I naked and sitting in a garbage can?" Dogbert replies, "Either you were killed by wild deer and we cloned you back to life from your old garbage . . . Or . . ." Dilbert says, "I hope I like the second choice." Dogbert says, ". . . Or you saved a lot of money on an above-ground pool."
Tuesday October 09,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #absence, #mother, #nature, #absence dog, #cloned, #sick, #woman, #employee, #leave of absence
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. A woman says, "Dilbert, I need to fill out an absence report for the days you missed work." Dilbert replies, "Well, Mother Nature got mad and had wild deer kill me. But my garbage man and my dog cloned me back to life." The woman says, "I'll put 'sick.'"