Never Been Done Comic Strips
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917 Results for Never Been Done
View 1 - 10 results for never been done comic strips. Discover the best "Never Been Done" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday December 17,
1996
Tags #computer support, #elbonian data base, #expensive consultant, #five hundred dollars, #meeting, #business
Transcript
The Boss, Alice, Ratbert, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We're going to replace our computer support systems with the Elbonian database product." The Boss gestures toward Ratbert and continues, "It's risky, but don't worry. I've hired an outrageously expensive consultant who has never done this before." Ratbert says to Wally, "I earned five hundred dollars just coming to this meeting. How's YOUR day going?" Wally replies, "It won't make my top ten."
Tuesday May 08,
2001
Tags #impersonate dead customer, #large purchases, #work, #acting
Transcript
The Boss hands a black briefcase to Wally. He says, "You'll impersonate our dead customer and make large purchases from us." Wally looks down at the briefcase and says, "I've never done anything like this before." The Boss replies, "It's called 'work.'" Wally walks away, continuing to hold the briefcase. He asks, "Am I doing it right?"
Saturday December 06,
2003
Tags #dating, #party, #phone number, #information, #email, #voicemail, #home phone, #offcie, #work email, #personal website, #too much info, #skeleton, #relationships
Transcript
"I've never done this before, but may I have your phone number?" "Home phone.. cell phone.. work phone.. home e-mail.... personal web site." "...And if that fax machine is out of paper, try the one down the hall, but leave me a voice mail if you do."
Thursday July 20,
2006
Thursday May 17,
2007
Monday July 12,
2010
Tags #job interview, #sales, #travel, #business, #idiot, #angry
Transcript
The Boss says, "The opening is in sales. Do you like to travel." Man says, "Yes. It's my favorite thing." The Boss says, "No one likes business travel. You're either an idiot or you've never done business travel." Man says, "How dare you accuse me of not traveling."
Tuesday October 06,
1998
Tags #shovel, #full of assignments, #get done, #most importatnt, #identify acronyms, #never been used
Transcript
The Boss aproaches Dilbert with a shovel full of paper. The Boss says, "Here's another shovel full of assignments." Dilbert throws his arms up. Dilbert says, "How am I supposed to get all of that done?" The Boss says, "Only do the most important ones." Dilbert holds on the projects. Dilbert reads, "Identify all the acronyms that have never been used." The boss says, "That's an important one."
Wednesday February 21,
2007
Tags #free pubilcity, #never been done, #sir richard branson
Transcript
Dogbert does public relations "You can't get free publicity simply by doing something better." "You have to do something in a way that has never been done." "It's a Sir Richard Branson sort of thing. You wouldn't understand."
Sunday March 02,
1997
Tags #new ceo, #tall caucasian male, #no experince, #necktie, #resume, #bizarre logic, #never worked in industry
Transcript
Dilbert stands in the bedroom tying his tie. He tells Dogbert, "Our new CEO will be announced today, Dogbert." Dilbert continues, "Rumor has it that they picked a tall caucasian male with no experience in our industry." Dilbert continues, "I can't wait to hear the bizarre logic behind this choice." Dogbert says, "I like your necktie. Is it new?" Dilbert replies, "Shut up." A man stands at a podium and says, "Our new CEO has never worked in our industry, but that's exactly what we were looking for . . ." The man continues, ". . . Because we wanted a CEO who doesn't know what can't be done!" The men prepare to shake hands, but the CEO offers his left hand. The man whispers, "Other hand . . . Other hand." The CEO asks, "Why?" Dilbert says to Wally and Alice, "He looks a bit overqualified." Wally says, "I really took the wrong approach on my resume."
Wednesday February 28,
2007
Tags #asbestos, #ceiling, #danger, #telekinesis, #neutralized, #never ask, #curious
Transcript
Wally: They found asbestos in our ceiling. We're all in danger. Asok: "I must use my telekinesis to remove the asbestos." "GAAA!" The threat has been neutralized. You must never ask me how it was done." Wally: I'm not even curious."